Freedom
by assassi
Summary: Everyone knew Harry Potter's story. What no one really knew about was his school's enemy own sad life…/ Harry helps Draco to rebuild his life after a severe breakdown/ HarryDraco. Yaoi/Angst.
1. Chapter 1 The past through the Dragon's

**A.N.** So! Something new from me! :D So far I have only written Naruto Yaoi, but got hooked up on HarryDraco and... this is the result. It will not be very long (12-16 chapters the way I see it so far). Well... hope you like it :)

Chapter 1 – The past through the Dragon's Eyes

Everyone knew Harry Potter's story – his dark and sad childhood, his years in school and all the challenges he had been through, to his heroic victory over the Dark Lord.

What no one really knew about was his school's enemy own sad life…

Contrary to what people believed, Draco Malfoy rarely received what he craved for and rarely his most simple needs were satisfied. None of those not granted wishes was as dramatic as the Hero's, but still – Draco too did not have a real happy childhood.

True, he did not live in a cupboard under the staircase, but in a huge bedroom, so cold while richly decorated in a style Draco didn't even like. He felt almost lost in that big room with its high ceilings and French windows. He felt lonely.

As a small child he wasn't allowed to build a bond with his mother in order to not become "a sissy excuse of a son" like his father put it. After his nightmares began and a very confused and concerned psychiatric advised them to "at least read a fairytale to this poor boy" a house servant was given the order to read to Draco every night for five minutes as the boy was already in bed.

Draco would never forget the night his mother sneaked in his room and read to him for what seemed like hours before he fell asleep.

In the next few days his mother wore her hair free, hiding the left side of her face.

Five years old Draco would look longing at happy families, with two or three children running after a dog or chasing after a cat while they were walking down the Diagon Alley. His father would call those "unworthy half-bloods, having more children than they should and could take care of". Draco desperately wanted a sibling, but was told that an "aristocratic family should only raise a heir and not breed unnecessary children". Draco contemplated what would it feel like had he been born after the first Malfoy child had been a girl (thus having an older sister and still being the rightful heir in the Malfoy patriarchal family), but then realized that his sister would have been considered "unnecessary" and that put an end to his dreams.

He wasn't allowed a pet until he became 11 and sent to Hogwards and an owl had become necessary.

On the day he was supposed to go to school an excited Draco had received a mission: befriend with the boy with the messy black hair and the scar.

"Do not disappoint me, Draco", his father said.

"Yes, sir", he responded, as always, and put his usual cold façade.

But he had failed. Harry Potter chose his friends alone. And, Draco secretly admitted, he chose wisely.

No one really knew but on that first day in Hogwards the Hat had contemplated to send Draco in Ravenclaw. _"A sharp mind I see. You should do fine in both Ravenclaw and Slytherin. What should it be?"_, it had asked.

Imagining his father's outraged face if he was sent anywhere else but Voldemort's ex house, he begged the Hat to put him in Slytherin. It had all happened so fast that everyone thought it was an immediate decision.

Draco remembered all his small failings that first year: the first lesson of flying on a broom when he was told his stance was incorrect; meanwhile Harry Potter became the first First year Seeker in 100 years. Later, Potter was also the only one allowed a broom in his First year, thanks to Draco like he had pointed out.

He didn't even want to remember his second year. He was not, of course, afraid for his own life – what with it being painfully obvious that whatever had attacked the students didn't attack the Slytherin house – but still Draco couldn't help but have those moments, little moments in his brainwashed by his father mind, when he allowed the thought of it all being wrong nagging his mind. That was when he wasn't busy screaming "mudbloods" at the faces of Harry Potter's friends…

On his third year Draco Malfoy saw a Patronus for the first time in his life, while acting like a Dementor in order to distract Harry Potter from winning an important Quidich match. A bit later what looked like Harry Potter's head (only) threw mud on Draco and his friends, humiliating him once again… Later Harry Potter (the whole) catched the Snitch almost from Draco's own hand, wining the Hogwards Quidich Cup…

His fourth year… how could he ever forget the Dark Mark in the night sky after the final of the World cup of Quidich? The knowledge… the knowledge that his father was amongst those masked people burning tents and torturing the Muggles? Sure, Draco was well taught by his father how lowly the Muggles were… but… they were people…

Later in the year, distracted by watching Harry Potter literally fighting for his life the Trimagic Tournament, Draco almost forgot that terror, brought by the Death Eaters… until Harry Potter emerged from the labyrinth with Cedric Diggory's dead body and declared that Dark Lord was back.. alive…

That… is how Draco's new life in fear and pain began.

His father's failure in the end of Draco's fifth year, when Harry Potter had broken into the Ministry and fought with the Death Eaters and even the Dark Lord himself caused Draco's real nightmare of a life to begin in his sixth year…

His punishment for his father's mistakes… trying to mend the case, linked with the cabin in "Borgin and Burkes"… being saw crying in that toilet by Harry Potter himself… fighting with him… almost dying… he remembered the pain, the feeling of life leaking out of him along with his blood… he still had the scars…

Later, trying, and not being able to kill Dumbledore, seeing Snape killing him…

Draco still had nightmares about all that.

And then it was his seventh year… Of anything he had been through he solemnly wished he could at least forget that year…

Having to live under the same roof as the Dark Lord himself… having to witness as he killed a Hogwards Proffesor over their dining table… having to witness and withstand himself countless _Crucio_-s… Having…

Having to face once again Harry Potter, in his own home… Only he didn't look like Potter at all…but to make no mistakes, Draco recognized him alright…

And then Draco lied. _"I don't know…"_

And then, later, there were the flames. Flames… and fear and fighting for each breath… That was the last thing Draco remembered from his own last encounter with Harry James Potter…

Why was it that somehow, even when his own life was in danger, all he seemed to remember was Harry Potter?.!

Everyone knew what happened in the end: The Boy Who Lived (once again) defeated (once and for all) the Dark Lord. Draco had never felt such a relief in his whole life…

What no one seemed to know was what happened to Harry Potter's school rival.

And, what mattered the most right now was… that that rival didn't seem to remember either.

Because in one beautiful spring day Draco Malfoy shut down.

**A.N.** I know that seemed like going hastily through the books, but it was needed for the story to develop. Review and you'll get the second chapter, which I promise holds many surprises and is much more original, plot-having (XD) and interesting :)


	2. Chapter 2 Whys

**A.N.** I hope you will find this chapter more eventful and interesting. Also, I bet most of you didn't imagine Ron like that ;)

Chapter 2 – Whys

Harry Potter ran into the elevator seconds before the doors closed, nodding absently to the greetings and finally taking a look in the newspaper the "Daily Prophet" 's owl had delivered him that morning. Nothing grabbed his attention from the first page and he had no time reading more than it, since he had to step off the elevator once the little bell rang, signaling it was his floor. A few steps through the corridor and he stepped through the double door, the sign above which read "Aurors Department" and smiled, answering the greetings from his colleagues and heading for his desk – one amongst the dozens of others like it. He summoned some coffee in his mug and finally opened his newspaper, having decided he had some time before he had to burry himself in work. His eyes skimming over the pages, he suddenly saw something that made his body tense.

He almost missed it actually. It was a small article, hidden on page 17's lowest right corner. The title read "Youngest Malfoy goes mental". Harry's eyes immediately got glued to the text.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy, son of the imprisoned Death Eater Lucius Malfoy, has been reported to have been admitted in 'St. Mungo's' Psychiatric Department. Sources report that young Malfoy's catatonic symptoms have confused the main Healer of the Psych Wing, for they are apparently not the standard ones. It is said that the patient, while mostly staring at a point on the wall, responds to certain sounds and images. The question that immediately arises is whether Mr. Malfoy feigns his symptoms in order to receive some sympathy in the context of the severe reparations against the Dark Lords ex-followers.

"Daily Prophet" reminds that Draco's mother, Narcissa Malfoy, passed away last May due to poor health after her husband's, and her own, trials. Unlike her husband Mrs. Malfoy died as a free woman due to some last minute's anonymous testimony. Draco Malfoy also remained free – some sources say it was due to that very same mysterious testimony."

Harry jumped to his feet. "Donovan, can you cover up for me for an hour?"

"Sure thing, Harry", his colleague waved.

Harry was already running through the double doors.

* * *

><p>He reached the reception in the Psychiatric Department and asked, panting "Excuse me, is there a patient here, named Draco Malfoy?"<p>

"I-I cannot give you this information, Mr. Potter, sir!", the young witch, looking a bit frightened, said.

So he was here. Which brought another question – **why** were they taking care of him, the son of an ex Death Eater? Assuming they _were_ taking care of him and hadn't just tossed him in an empty room… With all the "severe reparations against the Dark Lords ex-followers"…

"Harry", he heard the familiar voice and turned around.

Ah… it made sense now.

A middle aged man with kind eyes was looking at him a bit nervously. "Well, I can't lie I didn't expect this when I saw the morning paper…"

Harry took a calming breath and met his ex-shrink's eyes. "Is it true, Robert?"

"Yes", the man admitted.

"**Why** didn't you tell me…?", but he knew the answer even as he was asking the question.

"I couldn't, Harry. You know that. Patient – Healer Secrecy."

Yes, Harry knew that. He wouldn't even know Healer Robert Swanson if he didn't know that.

Harry's own séances had been completed only a year ago. In the beginning, just after the War, he had said he didn't need them. He had quickly found he did. His shame admitting this had died however when he found out that in order to be able to do their job right all Aurors were ordered to have séances with their own appointed Healer.

Harry had some of his sessions along with Ron and Hermione. He now knew that those séances were one of the reasons they were able to continue being that close, and maybe even more so, after all that had happened. Fred's death, Harry and Ginny's divorce after having three children, Hermione's miscarriage (before the birth of the two kids she and Ron now had)… Harry wasn't that much of an arrogant fool as to not admit that without those sessions they most likely wouldn't have made it.

But **why** was Malfoy here? Was he playing another Slytherin game? Aiming for people's pity? That didn't sound like the proud man he had always been. Was he really ill then? And **why** now? It had been years after the War…

The main question however was **why** was Harry so upset with the news of Draco Malfoy's state? They had always been enemies. True, during the War there had been a few moments when this basic knowledge had been shaken, but the fact remained that… in all of their shared hatred during their school years, in all that happened during the War… Harry barely knew Draco Malfoy.

So **why** was he here, upset and confused, _and giving a damn_, about someone he hardly knew?

"I should go… meet Ron before I head back..", he muttered, turning back towards the doors.

And **why**, once here, he didn't even ask to see Malfoy? He _couldn't_ even see Malfoy…?

"How's Ginny?", Healer Swanson suddenly asked.

Half-turning, with a dark smile on his lips, Harry only replied "Yes, Robert, I did talk with my ex-wife."

The man smiled sheepishly, but nodded, contently. "Good. Have a good day, Harry. And call me some time for coffee."

"As long as it doesn't end with me on the couch and you lecturing me again…", Harry smiled, more warmly now. In the years while Harry was still having his séances he and his Healer had built a good friendship.

Even though Robert Swanson was an ex Slytherin.

Which explained why Draco Malfoy was taken care of at all in the first place – having received one for himself (to be given his job in the troubled times between the two wars, when Slytherins were considered "not trustworthy")… Robert believed in second chances. Believed in giving chances to a man to prove himself.

Robert laughed at Harry's reply to his coffee offer and watched as the Auror waved and left.

* * *

><p>Harry stopped on the second floor of "St. Mungo" and walked through the already familiar door. He stopped at the reception and smiled to the already familiar witch.<p>

"Hey, Dorothy, is he available now?"

"He's with a patient but should be done any moment now", the woman smiled warmly.

Just as she said that a door opened and a tall man with distinctive red hair walked through it, looking a bit tired, but with that aura of authority that spoke of someone who had people's respect at what he did.

A look Harry would have never imagined on his best friend's face some ten years ago.

Ronald Weasley had originally wanted to be an Auror. He had even started the training program. It was clear that it was not a good idea, seeing as his wife, Hermione, was constantly worried about him. But it took her miscarriage for him to rethink the choices he had made. He took a Wizard's medical education program for a year and a half, then became an Apprentice in "St. Mungo" and now was a respected Healer. And, though he would never have guessed that while they were still at school, Harry admitted the job suited his best friend.

A year after Ron had started in "St. Mungo" and just as he had become a Healer of full value, Hermione had become pregnant again. Nine months later they had their first child.

Ron lifted his gaze, saw Harry and smiled tiredly "Hey, buddy", sigh, "Dorothy, I'm taking a break."

"Sure thing, dear", the witch smiled motherly, looking concerned about the dark circles under Ron's eyes.

Ron lead Harry to the cafeteria, making small talk on the way there, but turning serious after they were seated around the small table.

"I know why you're here", he said. "Today of all days I mean."

"Seeing my best friend?", Harry suggested, a faint smile on his face. Ron snorted.

"Drop the act. _Because_ I'm your best friend I know you that well. So… did you see him?"

Harry shook his head, then looked Ron directly in his eyes. "Did _you_?"

Ron nodded, remaining silent. Harry fought his next words.

"Is… is he really sick?"

"I believe so, yes."

"But… **why** now?", Harry asked the question that bugged him the most. Ron sighed.

"Psychiatry is not my field, Harry, but as far as I know there is no certain timing for things, locked inside one's soul and mind, to come on the surface and cause problems."

Harry measured him with a thoughtful look.

"What?", Ron asked.

"Nothing, I just… expected you to be more bitter about him."

Ron averted his eyes. "After all you've told me about the War, about his mother saving you, after I saw him lying for us when they… when they had us in that Mansion and…", Ron took a deep calming breath and Harry knew he was remembering Hermione's screams of pain while the Death Eaters tortured her in the Malfoy Mansion's living room. If Draco hadn't lied that he didn't know them, they would have been dead there and then.

"Look, buddy, we have been there… when you gave that testimony that saved him and his mother from Azkaban. I was angry then, at first, but then I saw your point… We all make mistakes. Hell, _**I**_ did enough mistakes during the War… Now that it is over, now that I know what you have told me… I can see that he was a victim of the circumstances. Circumstances a power craving father brought to him."

Harry was stunned. For near a minute he stood there dumbfounded, till he finally whispered "You really have changed."

Ron smiled darkly, the grimace not reaching his eyes. "A war changes everyone. Even a Malfoy."

* * *

><p>Outside the birds were singing, celebrating yet another beautiful spring day. People, Muggles and Wizards alike, were rushing down the street, bathed in sunlight. The world hadn't stopped. It never did.<p>

In a white room, with only a bed, a nightstand and a wardrobe, Draco Malfoy stared at a tiny black spot on the wall. This was his entire world now…

**A.N.** ... Review? Please? :)


	3. Chapter 3 Nightmares and reunions

**A.N.** Erm... I hope this chapter answers some questions ... and makes you want to know more :)

Chapter 3 – Nightmares and reunions

"_Sectumsempra!"_

_Malfoy's face contorted with pain. All color drained from his already pale skin. Time froze for a minute as their eyes – scared grey and shocked green, met. _

_Malfoy collapsed on the floor, fountains of blood pouring from his chest and onto the tiles. He wasn't screaming… He couldn't… His own pained and shocked eyes were now glued to his own hands, clutching his chest, the blood leaking between his trembling fingers…_

Harry woke up panting. He hadn't had that nightmare for a while now and it seemed the shock from seeing it again after so much time was even stronger now. His chest still heaving, Harry sat up, putting his feet on the cold floor and resting his head in his arms, which rested on his bent knees. He looked up to the full moon.

The grey shades on its pale surface reminded him of grey eyes…

* * *

><p>Harry sent an owl to Kingsley (Aurors were directly dependent on the Minister of Magic) that he was sick and took a few days off.<p>

When he went to "St. Mungo" a red haired Healer was already waiting for him, smirking darkly.

"Kingsley called. Asked me if you had been here yesterday…", Ron drawled.

Already guessing the answer, Harry smirked "What did you tell him?"

A fake gasp. "Are you suggesting I could have lied the Minister of Magic and a battle friend?" Harry grinned and Ron's smiling lips twitched a bit before he looked away, shrugging a bit. "Said I haven't seen you the last few days. Come on…", Ron nodded towards the doors, hidden for the Muggles. "I'll come with you."

Robert was just exiting a patient's room when they entered the Psychiatric Department and in a funny moment both he and Harry opened their mouths.

"Look, Robert, I know it's risky and you could lose your job, but if anything like that were to happen, I assure I will take all the blame…"

"Harry…"

"But this is… this will be therapy for both of us! I had that nightmare again last night, Robert…"

"Harry…"

"What nightmare?", Ron interjected.

"And I know he and I have always hated each other, but, Merlin, we are not kids anymore and I need… I need to see for myself what he has become! It's what you've always preached about, giving people chances, and-and I know that it is weird after everything between us, but that nightmare and…"

"What nightmare?.!"

"Harry…!"

"I want to see Draco Malfoy!"

Silence.

Robert smiled. "Actually… that was what I was going to suggest, myself. It is true that it could be therapy for both of you and for reasons you don't yet understand, you need this as well."

Harry didn't really know how to respond to this, so he just nodded dumbly.

"I think he can see you now", Robert said, turning back to the door he had just closed behind him.

"Wait, what, _now_?.!", Harry panicked, turning for help from Ron, but his friend only smiled, darkly, but with understanding, and pushed him through the door. Not having even a moment to prepare himself mentally, Harry almost wanted to close his eyes like a child. He didn't though and instead stared at the lone figure in the small room.

He found he really wasn't prepared for this.

Draco Malfoy sat stiffly in a chair near the window, staring outside. He looked like he hadn't moved at all, even to get more comfortable, since the nurse had placed him there. He had lost weight, his Scandinavian blond hair seemed to have lost some of its shininess, his once stormy grey eyes looked empty.

Harry felt his chest tighten.

"Draco, someone's here to see-…", Robert began but was interrupted by Harry's quiet voice

"What happened to you?"

Something moved inside Draco's empty eyes; still staring through the window, his head moved almost imperceptibly towards Harry's voice.

"Harry, don't do anything rash…"

Too late. Not being able to explain what possessed him to do it, Harry had dropped to his knees in front of Draco and choked out "Do you who I am? Do you… do you remember me?"

Suddenly the empty eyes fixed on him. Draco blinked and for a moment it looked like he had woken up from a deep sleep. He outstretched his arm, his palm stopping on Harry's cheek. Harry fought the impulse to lean into the touch. What the hell? This was a man! A Draco Malfoy!

Draco's eyes seemed to search for something in Harry's, just for a moment, then they turned glassy again and turned back to the window. Harry felt defeated. He wanted to scream in outrage, to break something, to hit someone, to run a few miles before he collapsed so he wouldn't have to think about those empty eyes.

It must have been quite obvious. "Harry… Harry, come with me. Now!", Robert's alarmed voice sounded nearby and Harry stood slowly. With one last look at Malfoy he hastily left the room.

* * *

><p>"This is a great improvement!"<p>

Harry snorted at Robert's enthusiasm.

"No, Harry, it really is! He was looking _at_ you! He made contact, he touched you!"

Harry did not want to remember this. It increased his frustration.

"And… it makes sense now."

That got Harry's attention and he stared back at Robert.

"What does?"

"Since he's here he's been… almost catatonic. You saw him and you understand now. I say almost, because he had reacted, though not that well, to another voice as well. My Apprentice's."

Harry frowned, ignoring his mixed feelings. "What makes sense?"

"Harry, Joel's voice sounds really close to yours. And you saw Draco's reaction to your voice. That's the most he had done in weeks!"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that something in your common past makes Draco react to your voice."

"Yeah, the instinct to hex me", Harry snorted.

Robert chuckled. "Somehow, Harry, I doubt that is the reason", he shook his head. "Anyway, I think it works. For both of you. If you still agree, I'd like to continue this approach."

Harry nodded curtly. Robert smiled again. "There's more."

"What?"

"Certain sounds. Some birds' songs. Classic music. The sound of splashing water. So far, that's all we know that affects him.", a smile, Harry would describe as "sly" stretched on Robert's face. "Would you like to test those and maybe find other things that have effect on him as well?"

Harry narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why? What do I gain? You say I gain something from this as well but I fail to see what."

"Except tickling your Hero complex to save everyone?", Robert grinned. Harry scowled. Robert chuckled. "Okay, I'll explain the long version too. Harry, in your whole life since you were eleven, through your school years, the War and after it… the knowledge of some things stood like pillars to your existence. Your friends. Later, your family. Your children. And, even though you would never admit it, Draco Malfoy's existence. Either being the villain in your story, or the one you saved from the fire and wanted to _make sure he stays alive_. Good or bad, confusing you or annoying you, you need to know that Draco Malfoy is alive and well. One of the reasons is because you saved him and instinctively want to make sure it was not for nothing. Deny it as much as you want, but believe your psychiatrist when he tells you that for you to be calm and content, Draco Malfoy has to be as well. "

Harry remained silent, contemplating this explanation. Robert stood up and patted his back. "I know you are confused and need time to think about it; it's natural. Call me when you make up your mind."

With that the man left, leaving Harry even more frustrated than he had been after his nightmares had returned.

**A.N.** Feed an author! Review! :P


	4. Chapter 4 Issues

**A.N**. ...Do NOT **ONLY** favorite this story. **REVIEW**! ...I feel a bit like a part of a one-sided love story - I love you, but you don't seem to love me... *sigh*

Chapter 4 - Issues

Harry Potter was working. Or so he lied to himself. He was looking at the papers before him, not really seeing them. He hadn't slept last night too – nightmares again.

It seemed that Robert's offer was not as much a free choice on Harry's part as it was becoming a necessity. For the sake of Harry's own sanity, he had to bring back Malfoy's.

A small owl flew through the opened window and dropped a note on Harry's desk. He recognized Ron's handwriting and opened it.

"_Pick you up from work? Mione's homemade dinner?"_

Harry smiled, but at the same time felt guilty for being at Ron and Hermione's every other day, almost since he and Ginny had divorced. That was after Ron got over his sister and his best friend's break up…

Another, new line, emerged on the note right before his eyes.

"_Stop that. I am inviting you. How can that make you a bother, damn it?.!"_

Harry scowled. Was he that transparent?

A new line_. "Cookies? ;)"_

Harry grinned, writing back a short reply and sending the owl back.

* * *

><p>Ron was waiting for Harry in the lobby. He was looking tired again, and Harry noticed with worry that the dark circles under his friend's eyes had deepened. He decided to keep quiet for now but to bring up the subject soon.<p>

They took the Floo to Ron and Hermione's and hadn't had the time to even take a breath when two voices screaming "Daddy! Daddy!" first deafened them and then their owners launched at their proud father. Ron suddenly seemed younger, refreshed, the dark circles faded and he glowed, grinning to his kids.

"Heeey, fellas! Were you good children today? Did you listen to Mommy?"

"Yes, Daddy, I was more good!", Rose immediately declared, making the men chuckle on her choice of words. Hugo, of course, did not agree.

"I was more more good, Daddy!"

"I was better…", Hermione corrected him mechanically, coming into the room, smiling to both men and kissing Ron chastely (in front of the kids).

"Eeeew, Mommy!", Hugo made a face and indignantly left the room, making the adults laugh.

Much later, stuffed with Hermione's beef with vegetables and almost high on cookies, Harry told his friend about all that had happened, from his perspective (she, of course, had already heard the basic story from Ron).

"I don't get it. Why now? What broke him? Why does Robert think I'll care as much as to help Malfoy?"

"Does only Robert think that?", Hermione smiled faintly.

Harry gave up and paraphrased. "Why do I care?"

"Everybody has their issues, Harry", she said cryptically.

Just then, as if to prove her point, Ron coughed lightly. "Erm… Mione?"

"Hm?", she looked up and followed his gaze back to her arms, cradling a sleeping 5 years old Hugo like he was a baby, her grip a bit too tight. As if she simply couldn't let go…

"Oh… I…"

She still tended to be a bit more overprotective around her children, a bit too worried, always seeming on the edge. Even after not only one, but two had been born after that unfortunate first try…

Ron smiled with so much love and understanding that Harry physically ached to see that… and realize how much he missed that. Ron reached his arms to take Hugo from Hermione and carry him to the boy's bed. Hermione's hands tightened just for a second and then she let go, returning Ron's smile with one of gratitude. Ron took his son and walked to the kid's room.

Hermione took advantage of his leaving. "I'd like to see him. Malfoy, that is."

Harry scowled. "Why?"

He had thought Hermione would be terrified to be near the owner of the house she had been tormented into. His look must have been too transparent (again), because she sighed and just said "I want to confirm something."

"What can you possibly…?"

Another impatient sigh. "Look, Harry, I know what you are thinking about and I admit that things are connected - what you think and what I want to confirm. See, that night… through all the pain, I couldn't help but notice something…" She took a deep calming breath. "While they were… using the curse on me… he kinda… shut down."

Harry's eyes widened. "What…?"

"His eyes became so empty and he just stared at the wall not even flinching… he… you must understand. He wasn't being a heartless bastard. He just really wasn't there at that moment, and you know I wouldn't excuse him of all people. I don't know if it was a conscious act of self preservation or if his consciousness just couldn't take anymore and shut down on its own. But I'll never forget his eyes and from what you are explaining I think that in its essence it is the same thing that has happened to him now as well… only… for a longer period of time…"

* * *

><p>Harry sat down on a chair in front of Draco and stared at the blonde. No reaction – no look, no flinching.<p>

"Hey", Harry tried.

The slightest movement of Draco's head towards Harry's voice.

"Do you really not remember me? Cuz I swear, if it's an act…"

No reaction.

Sighing determinedly, Harry conjured a glass and filled it with water.

No reaction. Harry narrowed his eyes.

Just then a curse was heard from the hallway, followed by a splashing sound – a witch had tripped and spilled some water on the floor, from what Harry gathered.

Draco almost jumped in his chair, stifling a gasp.

Hmmm. _Splashing_ water.

His face moving even closer to Draco's, Harry narrowed his eyes again.

"What are your issues, Malfoy? What's your story…?"

From that moment on, Harry realized, there before him sat not his former school enemy. There sat Draco Malfoy, a riddle to unravel.

**A.N.** Sooo... who wants me to wake Draco up in the next chapter? :D REVIEW!


	5. Chapter 5 Riddles

**A.N.** ...Nah, I'll let ya read and enjoy :D

Chapter 5 – Riddles

Harry almost felt like laughing bitterly at himself.

Another riddle. Ever since he had joined the world of wizards, riddles surrounded him, stood on his way and waited to be solved. By him.

And, of course, the usual suspects.

Ron measured Draco coldly, expertly, not like he was looking at someone he didn't like, but like he was looking at a patient. It looked like he was silently trying to figure the blonde out, "silently" being the part which still amazed Harry.

Hermione had only taken a glimpse at Draco and nodded at Harry – their previous conversation and her guess being proven right. She hastily left, still feeling uncomfortable around the Malfoy heir, but not blaming Harry the slightest for his (as he used to put it) "unhealthy interest" in the riddle that was Draco Malfoy.

As Robert had suggested Harry tried the other things that were reported to have had effect on Draco. The blonde looked calmer when listening to a violin solo record, flinched at the more rhythmical songs, but his best reaction so far had been when he had heard the piano record.

He had turned around, as if looking for the source of the sound, looking for it eagerly.

That was also the day he had made his second eye contact with Harry, almost, _almost_ smiling.

From then on Harry brought only piano records and took unexplainable pleasure in seeing Draco at ease. He soon noticed that while listening, the blonde also made movements with his fingers as if playing on an imaginary piano.

On the next day a piano was brought in Draco's room. The blonde's eyes lit up and he immediately sat in front of it, fingers hovering hesitantly over the keys.

"Would you play for me…?", Harry choked out, his throat suddenly dry.

Long pale fingers moved, ripping sound from the black and white keys _[__**A.N.**__ Insert __Linkin Park's – Numb (PIANO)__ here]_. It was a sad song, but beautiful none the less and Harry found himself enchanted in it. It was so obvious Draco had taken lessons and for a while. It also somehow looked like one of the few things he had taken lessons on and _enjoyed_.

"I wish you'd remember me…", Harry whispered, immediately feeling stupid and embarrassed for saying it, hastily leaving the room.

He never saw the small smile, gracing the blonde's lips.

* * *

><p>Food was the next thing Harry experimented with. He brought Draco red apples the first day he had decided that he would solve the riddle that was Draco Malfoy. The blonde didn't eat them. Harry tried with yellow and green, but not even the most Slytherin green apples worked.<p>

Harry tried grape, white and dark. Draco took a few bites from the dark one.

He ate pears, but only one specific sort. Harry began stopping by the only store in London that sold those, every time before he dropped by "St. Mungo".

Melon was the thing the blonde seemed to eat with greatest appetite (from the things Harry had tried so far).

Books were a bit more difficult matter. Now that he thought about it maaaybe Mary Shelley and Walter Scott weren't the best of choices, nor was Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Still, imagine Harry's surprise when he finally found Draco's favorites: Shakespeare and Kafka. Yes, both.

Harry was surprised at himself for even thinking about going to Draco's father (yes, in Azkaban) to ask what the blonde liked. Imagine the question: "Excuse me, sir Death Eater, can you tell your son's eternal rival, a _man_ mind you, your son's favorite things in the world, just so said rival could please said son?" Yeah, sure….

That last part worried Harry the most – the realization that he, indeed, wanted to please the blond, to see him at ease.

Were Robert's words so literal? Were the blonde's happiness and ease necessary for Harry's? Was it really just a riddle for him or was calling it a riddle only meant to put Harry at ease, instead of freaking himself out by admitting he was developing some uncalled, unwanted, unnamed feelings for the blond man in that small hospital room?

* * *

><p>It was one of Draco's bad days – he refused to eat, to make eye contact, to even play the piano. He was back to staring outside the window, seemingly not giving a damn about what Harry said or did.<p>

"Come ooon, Malfoy… I took my lunch break to come visit you. You can at least glare… or sneer or whatever the hell Malfoy-ish thing you normally do…"

Harry couldn't believe he was begging his formal rival to be his normal bitchy self. He sighed, resting his head in his hands, arms resting on his bent knees as he sat opposite from Draco. His coat shifted as he moved and a small piece of paper fell on the floor.

Draco's eyes suddenly fixed on it.

The piece of paper moved – it was a magical photo of a three children at different age, the oldest about 14 and the youngest around 9. One of the boys looked just like Harry, the other being with fair hair.

If Draco was staring at the photo, Harry was staring at him.

The blonde's eyes were full with so much want, that Harry's chest tightened.

"Hey… do you remember…?", he started, but just then a silver lynx jumped in the room and Kingsley's voice declared Harry was needed immediately. The Auror sighed.

"I'll be back later…", he whispered, fighting back the strange impulse to leave a kiss on Malfoy's forehead. Stupid, stupid impulse…

* * *

><p>It was after midnight when Harry came back. It was of course long after the hours for visiting the patients, but, well… he was Harry Potter.<p>

Surprisingly, Draco wasn't sleeping. He was sitting next to the window, the moonlight bathing him in a soft glow, making his blonde hair shine once again. He looked dreamy, staring at the moon, almost smiling, but not really.

Perfect. He looked… perfect.

Harry slid down the wall, facing him, feeling sadder than ever.

"Do you remember me? Do you know who I am?", he asked the questions he had asked for weeks so far.

Something shifted in the grey eyes as they fixed on him and what could only be described as the ultimate Malfoy sneer blossomed on the pale face. Harry's breath hitched as the slightly chipped lips parted and a slightly hoarse voice said

"Of course I know who you are, Potter. Or is this another attempt at boosting your ego?"

**A.N.** Hahah, well, happy now? Nah, I know you are about to throw something at me for the cliffhanger :D You want more? You know what to do - REVIEW! :)


	6. Chapter 6 Awakened

**A.N.** As you'll see this is a short one, but I'm getting there ;)

Chapter 6 – Awakened

Robert Swanson was dragged from his bed and into the hospital at 3 in the morning of an otherwise normal Wednesday. That was after a stag Patronus had entered his bedroom, scaring him and his wife from their peaceful sleep, and Harry Potter's slightly panicked voice declared Draco Malfoy had… awakened?

Arriving at "St. Mungo" Robert confirmed that Malfoy was, indeed, responsive. Not very talkative though. Robert ran the usual tests – all of which confirmed Draco's mind was intact, as well as his reflexes and awareness of where he was.

He seemed to suffer from partial amnesia – he remembered Harry, he remembered all till the Final Battle and then…. Nothing. Robert and Harry shared a look. Even though Harry hadn't followed Draco's life closely after Hogwards, he knew a lot had happened to the blonde.

"We'll eventually have to break it to him gently. Please, don't drop your temper, Harry. And be very careful around him, with what you say or even hint…"

"You should have seen the way he was looking at the photo of my kids, Robert. With so much want…We need to tell him…"

"Harry, no! Not yet. Soon, I promise, but not yet. We need to touch gently, one can say."

Harry sighed. It was almost like telling a lie and he hated that.

"Can I stay with him a bit?"

"A bit. Don't push him, Harry, this is extremely…"

"I know, I know…", Harry waved dismissively and entered the room under Robert's worried ad stern (in the same time!) look.

Draco turned to face him and smirked. Ah, here he is. The old Malfoy.

"I thought you'd be gone by now, Potter. You did your good deed for the day, or so you seem to think. I am back from … Back."

"Back from where?", Harry pushed; never mind Robert's warnings.

Draco shrugged, looking away. "My own world? Isn't that what why they lock people here for?"

"Not only", Harry pointed out, sitting down on a nearby chair. "Robert said you had partial amnesia."

Draco nodded slowly, still looking through the window.

"Certain parts of my past I seem to have forgotten. And not those I wanted to. You, on the other hand, I never forgot. Who could forget the Golden boy, right?", he snorted. "All that time, I was able to heard Swanson. I was able to hear you. Just…couldn't find the need in me to respond."

Harry froze. He had believed… that it had been… deeper than merely a whim on Draco's part. He had believed the blonde had a serious problem and so had felt the need, the want to help him. Instead it had all just been…

"So that's it? Simply apathy?", Harry felt… betrayed.

Draco gave it a thought. "Perhaps you can call it that. I just… don't care anymore. I lost those who mattered and I just don't matter enough for myself to fight. The darkness that surrounded me so far was comfortable. I won't object to return to it."

Harry clenched his jaw and his fists.

"Why did you come out of it then?", he asked the obvious question bitterly.

Draco frowned. That seemed like something he didn't understand himself.

Harry had had enough. He jumped on his feet and left the room and its only other occupant, slamming the door and storming down the empty hall.

* * *

><p>He was restless again that night. Again.<p>

And what for? Just because an utter git had decided to play with him and all the staff at the hospital.

Harry's fitful dreams were full of blond hair and snakes, scars and blood, flowing between clenched fingers, desperate grey eyes… and a boy with hair, pale as Draco's.

He should be around 12, or 13. Older then Albus, but younger than James? Or the same age..?

Harry was grumpy to say the least, and even more so, knowing he had to spend the day at work filling paperwork he had left for later… for weeks on end.

What had he hoped for? That Draco had changed, that he was different, more? Ha! Stupid, idiot Harry!...

By the end of the day, Harry really shouldn't have been that surprised that his own Apparition led him at "St. Mungo", instead of his own home.

Already being there, Harry was filled with determination. He marched back down the hall and burst into the room, grabbing a shocked Draco's shirt and shouting in his face.

"I will not let you go back into your shell! What the hell, bastard!.? You think it's easy!.? It's not! You think I hadn't faced that darkness of yours, hadn't been tempted to stay there!.? Life isn't comfortable, Malfoy! So let us all leave it?.?.! Is that what you think?.! Well, I have news for you! I'm gonna make sure you fight to stay here! You hear me!.? Call it "Golden boy" duty, call it a fuckin' hero complex, but now that you are back here, you stay here! Did I make myself clear!.?"

Draco snorted. "Is that how you speak to your subordinates, sir Auror?"

Harry slapped him. Hard. Being affected that strongly by his emotions, he was glad it hadn't been a fist he hit Malfoy with.

"I asked if you understood me", he asked, eerily calmly.

Draco seemed sobered by the slap. Shocked, but sobered. "Yes", he said quietly.

"Good! I'll see you tomorrow!", Harry slammed the door again, aware he was being a bit childish and blushing from that fact, but walking with his head raised high.

**A.N.** Hope this chapter answered some of your questions and made you ask yourselves more ;)


	7. Chapter 7 Fragments of memory

**A.N.** I hope this chapter answers some questions.

Chapter 7 – Fragments of memory

"Draco, you told Harry that you 'lost those who mattered'. What did that mean?"

Draco Malfoy shot Harry Potter a heated glare, as if accusing him for betraying his secrets, then glared at Robert Swanson, his unfortunate psychologist.

"You are well aware of what I mean", he hissed.

"Yes, but are you? Do know who you have lost or is the feeling only one of missing someone important?"

Draco glared more before answering. "I lost my mother last May."

Harry fidgeted – so Malfoy's partial amnesia had left him hints about what had happened after the war too, not only till then.

"Draco, did you know that your Father is in Azkaban?"

Draco flinched and looked away, only nodding curtly.

"Do you blame him?", Robert asked softly.

"…Yes."

"What for?"

Draco laughed bitterly and shook his head.

"For everything? For finally ending up here?"

"Is he the only one to blame, Draco?", Robert asked gently.

Draco flinched again before he all but whispered. "No… I was weak. I gave in. I let him do what he wanted with me."

"What was that, Draco?"

The blonde was now steadily looking through the window.

"I never wanted it. Any of it", he suddenly said. "That room… its décor… The French, Latin, Italian lessons", he snorted. "I wanted to learn Spanish, did you know? He said it was the language of lowly workers… I wanted …", he shook his head, closing his eyes.

"Go on, Draco, please…"

"I wanted a younger sister. Someone I could protect. Someone who could look at me without expectations, someone I could love without reserves…"

"Harry, I think you should leave us for now", Robert said quietly.

Harry nodded, a bit dumbfounded. He didn't know why was his presence needed in the first place. With one last look at the blonde, he left the room.

Robert came out nearly an hour later. He looked tired and sympathetic towards the blonde he had just left in the room. He shook his head when he saw Harry had opened his mouth to ask him a question.

"No, Harry, he indeed doesn't remember his family. He doesn't remember ever being married and having a child… In fact, he seems to remember only the darkest moments of his past."

"O-Oh…", was all Harry could say. That was… so… cruel.

"And you."

Harry looked up again. "Excuse me?"

Robert shrugged. "I was just stating the obvious, you could say - except his darkest past Draco seems to remember only you."

"Yes, but… why?"

Robert smiled faintly, his eyes searching for something in Harry's. He finally gave up and sighed, then smiled more naturally and said, "Let's try to find that out, shall we?"

"Huh?"

Robert sighed again. "Harry, what I'm trying to say is that Draco remembering only you as a happy or at least not sad part of his past means something. It's very likely that your presence will be needed too during my sessions with him. It's very likely that Draco would say more and will be more subconsciously relaxed when you're in the room."

"I don't understand. He said he heard us, while staring through that window for weeks, just _didn't feel like answering_! Why would I want to help someone who just _didn't feel like getting better_!.?"

Robert looked at him with a sort of compassion. "Harry… trust me when I say that Draco's case is far more deeper and difficult than simple apathy. And knowing him, do always remember that a great part of his behavior is based on pride. He… knows he didn't _always_ hear us… he knows there's more about the state he's in. He'll never confess that."

Harry was confused. He needed to leave, to get out of here, to clear his head. He frowned, his eyes not meeting Robert's.

"When would you need me to be here?"

"Whenever is ok with you and your work schedule."

Harry nodded, turning to leave.

"One last thing, Robert… What was that thing about the sister…?"

Robert smiled his sad smile. "A living being's natural need of love, Harry. And a being, who's been mostly deprived of that feeling, I'm afraid…"

Even more confused, Harry left.

**A.N.** Do ask your questions, or just praise me XD in a REVIEW! ^^


	8. Chapter 8 Porcelain

**A.N.** Ok, I know this is short, but the way I see it it's a needed prelude. I think...?

Chapter 8 - Porcelain

Only to come back just a few hours later. Another sleepless night. Another restless time in his cold bed, begging for a chance to forget…

"I almost envy you sometimes…", Harry said quietly, watching the sleeping body in the bed, the blond man, who had lost so many of his memories… and yet remembered his darkest ones. Harry snorted at himself. "How pitiful is that? Envying someone cursed to have no happy memory whatsoever…"

The blonde moaned quietly, as if in pain, his eyebrows furrowed. Harry stepped back, hastily making up excuses why was he practically hovering over his old rival.

"No… not him…", the blonde whispered.

Harry frowned. Was Malfoy talking in his dream?

Obviously he was.

And not only talking - in only a few seconds the blonde was also tossing in the narrow hospital bed, tortured by his nightmare.

"Please…! He's a baby!...Leave him aloooooone!", Draco cried, clutching the pillow, his expression and tightly shut eyes still betraying his suffering.

Harry stood dumbfounded. Never in his life had he seen Draco Malfoy so desperate, even in that bathroom all those years ago. So vulnerable and weak, but desperately trying to protect…

"Scorpius!"

Oh, dear Merlin! So he somehow remembered…

Harry had just made a step towards the bed to shake the blonde awake when the next words made him freeze again.

"It's him! Ana, it's him! Take Scorpius and run!"

"_Lilly, it's him! Take Harry and run!"_

Harry's world spun around him and he stood there like his feet were stuck to the floor.

The blonde gasped and jumped in his bed, panting, eyes wide open and staring right at Harry. Grey eyes widened even more, he crawled back in his bed.

"What are you doing here?", he asked hoarsely.

"I-I…", Harry stuttered, not really knowing what to say.

"Get out! Get the fuck out!", Draco screamed insanely, grabbing for the first thing on his nightstand, a vase, to throw at Harry.

Before the porcelain shattered Harry had left the room.

* * *

><p>Robert stepped in his office, yawning, and froze when he saw a glaring Harry Potter, with dark circles under brilliantly green eyes, sitting in his chair.<p>

"I don't care what you think, I'm telling him today."

Robert sighed – they have had this discussion before.

"It is too soon and you kno-…"

"He had a nightmare last night and he screamed their names!", Harry yelled.

A very meaningful silence.

"May I ask how you know that?", Robert asked quietly, already knowing the answer.

It was Harry's turn to sigh. "I was there. I know, I know, but now we're not talking about it…"

"And when would we talk about it, Harry?"

Another stretched silence. "Tell me exactly what he said", Robert demanded.

"This is ridiculous…"

"Harry!"

Harry averted his eyes, then repeated quietly _"It's him! Ana, it's him! Take Scorpius and run!"_

"Oh, Harry…"

The raven snorted. "That was _exactly_ the reaction I was avoiding."

Robert didn't look unnerved. "I suggest we start your common sessions today", he said sternly.

Harry laughed bitterly. "Yeah, I think he'll be _thrilled_ by the idea of spilling his fears, secrets and hopes around me… The guy almost killed me with porcelain, Robert, after he woke up and saw me there last night!"

Robert _chuckled_. "Well, you can't deny he has a style!", brown eyes twinkled mischievously and the psychiatrist said merrily "It should be interesting!"

**A.N.** Soooo... what do you want them to discuss on their first session? ^^


	9. Chapter 9 Reluctance

**A.N.** I'm pouting -_- You hardly ever review and authors here feed on reviews. I'm starving and you cruel ppl didn't even share what you'd like to happen between Harry and Draco after Harry witnessed Draco's nightmare. I had to work that out on my own. So, here... though whether you deserve it is questionable...

Chapter 9 – Reluctance

Robert Swanson was a patient man. His job demanded this. Still, he fought an exasperated sigh now, after half an hour of waiting on the two men before him to utter at least a single word.

Stubbornness and pride… were qualities that applied to both his patients.

Looking through the window, Draco Malfoy had obtained quite literally the pose, known as "turned up nose". He had frowned, allowing deep lines to mar his brow, and looked the way pouting kids (and ukes) were usually drawn in manga books.

Beside him, looking at exactly the opposite direction, Harry Potter was frowning, a bit more manly, but in reality – just as childishly. Both their arms were crossed over their chests.

"Gentlemen… can we please, after 30 minutes, start acting like grown-up men?", Robert tried.

A huff – from Draco. A snort – from Harry. A killing glare – between them two. Harry smirked, not looking away from Draco.

"Yes, _Robert_, I would like that… if certain prats over here didn't act like drama queens!"

"I would certainly have shown more respect towards anyone, had they shown me the same!", Draco hissed.

"I'd just stepped into the room!"

"You just stood there, watching me toss in my bed, shout even! Was it fun, huh, Golden boy? Was I entertaining?"

Harry gasped – he couldn't hold back. "How could you even think… why would I… I myself…", he shook his head and looked away, angered, biting his thumb – a nasty habit he had when he was nervous.

"You yourself what, Potter?.!", Draco hissed.

Harry jumped from his chair. "I'm outta here…."

"Harry James Potter, do come back this instant and sit back down!"

Harry froze and looked back – never before, since they've known each other, Robert had talked to him like that. Somewhere in his messed up mind, Harry knew this was an important moment, but he was still taken aback – he wasn't some kid to be talked to like that!

He turned around, staring back at Robert, but didn't sit back next to Draco.

Robert returned his stare calmly.

"I want you to tell Draco why you wouldn't ever think nightmares are something to be made fun of."

Looking away, and knowing this was a sign of insecurity and weakness, Harry stared at a spot on the wall, before he muttered "Because I have them too."

"You have 'them' what, Harry?"

Harry clenched his jaw and closed his eyes for a second. Opening them again, he whispered "I have nightmares too."

"Nightmares about what?"

It was Draco this time, who asked the question, quietly, reverently, with no mocking whatsoever.

"What are the most common nightmares about?", Harry hissed back. "War… death… precious people being taken away… killed… Me. Not being able to do … anything…"

Draco's gaze softened – he looked understanding. Then, something in the grey eyes shifted.

"Was… was what I said… back then… somehow meaningful to you?"

This time Harry didn't say anything, didn't wait for Robert to stop him – no one could have stopped him to flee that room this instant.

* * *

><p>Robert managed to talk Harry into participating in Draco's séances after three days of calls and letters and lines like "You know best, Harry…" and glances suggesting he'd be greatly disappointed if Harry was to say "no".<p>

Realizing, not for the first time, what it meant for a man to have been sent in SLY-therin, Harry found himself in a room with two of those. Again.

"Draco, I've been meaning to ask you since the last time we met…", Robert shot a sidelong glance at Harry, as if silently berating him for fleeting the room that last time, "…do you remember what you dreamt about when Harry entered your room back then?"

Harry pricked his ears.

The blonde frowned. "I don't remember", he bit out quickly. All of Harry's Auror instincts screamed "dishonest answer!" Obviously, so did Robert's psychiatric knowledge, because he didn't give the matter up and tried again.

"Was there a lingering feeling after your dream then?"

Draco's fingers twitched nervously on the chair's armrest. "Ha!", Harry thought victoriously.

Probably realizing he was caught, the blonde nodded reluctantly.

"Can you describe me that feeling?", Robert pressed.

"I'd rather not."

"…Draco, I'm just trying to help you. But you'll have to work with me, ok?"

Pause.

Staring at his feet Draco finally muttered "Loss."

"You felt like you've lost a precious object?", Robert began, gently prodding for his answer.

Draco shook his head.

"A precious someone then?"

A nod.

"Your mother?"

"…No."

"A friend?"

"No."

"… A family member?"

The silence this time was so thick, that Harry decided Draco wasn't going to answer. And then, just above a whisper…

"…my whole family…"

Not realizing what he was doing, Harry's hand crept over Draco's and squeezed, reassuringly.

Surprisingly, the blonde didn't flinch and accepted the touch.

Nothing more was said that day.


	10. Chapter 10 Melting

**A.N.** I think I've never written a story where nothing sexual happens in the first, idk, 4-5 chapters :D :D This one is new for me too, so bear with it, please? I'm getting there... or at least I try...

Chapter 10 – Melting

Auror Harry Potter stood on the roof of the nearby building, watching the boy walking proudly down the street. Harry smiled – the lad had his father's pale golden hair… and exactly THE "young Draco Malfoy ultimate haughty glare". His eyes softened however when a golden retriever passed by him and the boy fought a longing stare after the animal. Instead, he walked into the bookstore a few steps down the street. Harry followed him, quietly like he was used to.

Scorpius Malfoy walked right to the back of the bookstore, its most secluded place, and hid amongst the book shelves. For a moment Harry felt the old stupid impulse "Follow Malfoy, find out what he's up to" and smiled to himself… old habits…

Draco's son however was obviously up to nothing bad. In fact, he just pulled out a book (muggle history, Harry noted, greatly surprised) and turned over a few pages. He looked not only interested in the book, but he had forgotten all pose and haughtiness – he smiled slightly, probably not even realizing it.

Footsteps were heard nearby and the book in the blonde's hands was hastily closed and hidden behind his back as he looked around – as if he were reading a porn book, Harry fought his chuckle. Once the footsteps were gone, Scorpius took another thoughtful look at the book. He finally pulled out his wand and charmed the cover of the book, leaving its price the same though (Harry was once again quite surprised – that was quite an advanced charm and the boy was supposed to be in his third year at Hogwarts). Satisfied with his handy work the young Malfoy took the book the counter, paid it, nodding majestically to the clerk and walked out, his nose back up in the air.

Hmmm, Harry thought under his Invisibility Cloak, it seemed Malfoys were all but easy to read.

* * *

><p>"…What?.!"<p>

"Hm?"

"You were staring, Potter. At me. Why?"

Harry smiled vaguely. Instead of answering, he asked a question of his own.

"What do you think about history?"

"… It's something one must know in order to not do mistakes that have already been done. Why do you ask?"

"Is that all it is to you – a way to not repeat someone's else mistakes?"

Draco narrowed his eyes. "Are you going to be the psychologist today, Potter? Is that why Swanson is not here yet?"

"We're just having a normal talk, Draco…"

The grey eyes widened in the same time Harry took note of his slip - in his mind he had began calling them, respectively, 'Draco' and 'Scorpius', to make a difference between the two Malfoys. Surprisingly, the blonde didn't make any smart or biting remarks, he just nodded.

Another surprise, Harry admitted.

"So… what kind of books do you like to read?", Harry tried again.

The blonde snorted.

"What?", Harry frowned.

"It sounded like you were asking your date", the Malfoy heir smirked.

Harry fought down his blush, determined to make his opponent uncomfortable, the way Malfoy had tried.

"I could be, you know…", he drawled.

The smirk faded.

"I'm a man", the blonde noted.

"I can see that", Harry smiled, a real smile as he suddenly realized.

"No, just… the way you said that, it sounded like… you know, 'Sure, I could be inviting you on a date'…"

"Yes, I meant that."

"… I'm a man."

"We already established that."

"…You were married."

"_You remember that?"_, Harry wanted to ask, but instead just said "_**Were**_. Why do you think _I'm not anymore_?", he smiled darkly.

He didn't like to remember that. When he had realized (yes, _after_ being married for awhile, to a _woman_, and _having had three children_) that he checked out men's asses at work and not big breasts… when he had kissed that colleague who had his eyes on him from the first day with the Aurors, and it had felt right… when Harry had finally came out… Ginny's hysteria, her screams, their fights in the court for the kids_… "I will not let my boys be raised by a fag!"… _

They had been happy… He had loved her, he had…! … How had it turned out like that? … Why? One kiss… or years of unconsciously checking out his colleagues at work, all men… Harry didn't know. He only knew it was over and he didn't want to think about it anymore…

"But…", Draco finally uttered quietly, looking genuinely confused "I'm… **me**…"

"_Why would you like to go out with __**me**__…?",_ those eyes said and Harry's heart skipped a beat. He knew he would have gone and grabbed Draco's hand again, reassuringly, or even hugged the guy…

If Robert Swanson didn't chose this exact moment to come into the room.

"Good morning, gentlemen! Are we up for some talking and grown-up behavior today too?", he smiled. Then, he saw their faces, both looking confused. "Gentlemen?"

* * *

><p>An hour later, Robert Swanson collapsed in his chair behind his desk, a tired, but satisfied smile on his face – the ice had begun to melt…<p>

**A.N.** Leave a review = feed an author ;)


	11. Chapter 11 Said out loud

**A.N.** Sorry for the long wait! Exams are over and I'll try to post more regularly, so please review! ^^

**A.N. 2** I plan to eventually make this story worth the M rate so if anything happens to it (or my profile, "thank you", FF) - please do check my profile here (while it is still alive :P) for more info on where else I can be found. Thank you!

Chapter 11 – Said out loud

"I'm seeing a pattern here…", Draco muttered.

Harry smiled, despite himself. They had been left alone again – this time Robert hadn't even tried to make it look like he was going to be late. He had all but deposited Harry in Draco's room and bid them goodbye for the next hour.

"I think he has left some charm to alarm him if we start fighting or killing each other", Harry smiled faintly.

A ghost of a smile could be seen on Draco's face as well. "I can hex you and you'd be dealt with long before Swanson comes here to check on us", he tried in their old threaten-to-no-end model.

But Harry only smiled coldly and said "Yeah… I assure you I'm well aware of how fast the Avada Kedavra curse works."

Draco's smile died immediately. Suddenly, the whole room felt freezing.

"I've never used it."

"What?"

"I said I've never killed people!", Draco yelled. "Do you really think I'd… after I've seen so many… and my own father…", Draco turned his eyes away from him for a second, gulping dryly, then looked back at Harry. "Tell me Auror Potter… have you seen… have looked… in eyes, so empty, so … dead… eyes that had smiled a minute ago… eyes that you've seen crying, eyes you've seen hurt, by yourself, but didn't have the time to apologize before… it was too late… tell me… have you looked in empty eyes…?"

"I have…", Harry whispered, not braking the eye contact.

The last time he'd seen that was in the years after the War, when they were still chasing Voldemort's ex-followers. Harry would never forget that… the small, cozy looking house… the Dark Mark above it… a family, a mother and a father with two small children… dead. The little girl was only three years old. Harry was still haunted… by her big, scared, wide… green… empty eyes…

Later, when they had cornered the Death Eater responsible for that… for the first time in his life, Harry had been tempted, oh-so-tempted, to use the killing curse, to scream the words and finish the man…

He hadn't… but it had cost him a lot to stop himself.

"I'm sorry", Harry finally told the blonde.

Draco only nodded.

The rest of the hour was spent in silence.

* * *

><p>"So, you're gay?"<p>

Harry choked with his water – they had once again been left alone by Robert. Still sputtering, the Auror only nodded.

"But you were married."

"Come on, we were there already…", Harry sighed. "I guess it's just never too late to learn new things for yourself."

Draco snorted. "I'm guessing the Weaslette didn't take it very good."

Harry just shook his head, without going into details.

"Does she let you see the kids?", that was asked with a lot more softer voice.

Harry nodded, smiling. ('Let' was not the most appropriate word. More like… forced. By the court.)

"That's good", Draco said earnestly.

"Do you like kids, Draco?", Harry couldn't hold back the question.

The blonde smiled gently. "Yeah… yeah, I like kids."

"Do you think you would have liked to have one?"

A mischievous glint in the grey eyes showed Harry his mistake even before the blonde had asked mockingly "Why, Potter, you offer something or what?"

"Sod off…", Harry muttered, blushing slightly, but smiling none the less.

**A.N.** Prepare for some surprises next time! ^^


	12. Chapter 12 Questions, raised by a

Chapter 12 – Questions, raised by a dark past

Harry had known this day would come. He supposed it would, at least. He was not excited about it.

It was a surprise that Draco had agreed though. He must be really desperate to have all his memories back, Harry realized.

Now that he watched Robert hypnotize Draco Harry couldn't help but feel… anxious.

"That's it… deep… deep breaths… Tell me, Draco…Where are you?"

The blond frowned, his eyelids fluttering. His voice was eerily quiet when he spoke and he sound confused and a bit scared.

"I… I'm at Hogwards. Everyone is running. Something's not right with Crabbe. He's angry… he commands us, me and Goyle… I don't know… anything, I… lost…Oh!"

"What is it?"

"Potter. And his friends. We… we're somewhere… I cannot see well… so many things are stacked … Wait, no! STOP IT! DON'T KILL HIM! DON'T… DON'T KILL HIM!"

"What is going on, Draco?"

But the blond only shook his head. Swallowing dryly, Harry supplied "His friend used _Crucio_ on me… then tried the killing curse too."

"Crabbe… Harry…", Draco muttered.

"…_Harry_?", Robert asked softly. Draco only shook his head again.

"I… it's hot… why is it so hot?"

Robert looked at Harry. "Fiendfyre. Crabbe did it. It killed him. Almost killed us too…"

"Please… please…", Draco whispered, shaking badly, tears running down his cheeks. Harry's chest tightened.

"May I…?", he asked Robert. The Healer hesitated. "Gently…", he said.

Harry bent down and whispered in Draco's ear "Here… hold my hand…"

"Harry…", Draco actually grabbed his palm and Harry squeezed reassuringly.

"Here… we're on the broom… I've got you… Hold on to me…"

"Harry…"

"That's ok, Draco, you…"

"You are back in the castle, out of the Room of requirements. Where exactly are you?", Robert interjected.

"Running… the castle… it's a mess… I… don't know where…"

"Just calm down, Draco, listen to my voice…"

"Someone said he's dead!..."

"The Dark Lord?"

"No… Harry…"

Harry's breath hitched. The blonde's voice sounded so… pained.

"…How do you feel about this, Draco? Are you confused?", Robert asked.

"No! No, he cannot be! He can't…. I cannot….NO!"

"Because if he were, there would be no one to save all the wizards?"

"N-no… because… there would be no one to save… me."

Robert sighed, shaking his head compassionately. "Draco, I want you to concentrate again. Where are you?"

"I am running ... towards the main gate, or so I try… they said he… Voldemort was… and the half-giant was… carrying…NO!"

Harry reached out to calm Draco, but Robert looked at him sternly and shook his head. "Now's the key part", he whispered. "For you too…"

Harry's brows furrowed, but then Robert turned to Draco and asked "Why can't Harry be dead, Draco?"

The question seemed a bit difficult to Draco, he furrowed his brows too. "Because if he's dead, I'll be dead too", he said like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Why?", Robert asked.

Shrug. "It's just how it works."

"It's just how what works, Draco?"

Furrowed brows. "The world?"

Robert chuckled. "You two are impossible… neither knows…", he whispered, then shook his head and asked "Draco, do you love Harry Potter?"

Harry's heart skipped a beat. What? Draco Malfoy? Loving _HIM_?

"I…", Draco looked confused.

"Imagine him in Hagrid's arms again…"

"NO!"

"How do you feel?"

"NOOO!", he cried.

"Why?.!"

"He… he needs to be alive!"

Robert sighed, deciding it was time to stop pushing. Both of his patients. For now.

"Listen to my voice, Draco… listen… I will now count to three and you will awake… one… two… three."

Silver eyes snapped open, frowning. Draco touched his wet cheeks which immediately turned pink. He looked terrified at the prospect of having showed any weakness. "Excuse me…", he said hoarsely, barely above a whisper, then stood regally and walked to the bathroom.

Robert turned to Harry. "And you? Are you ok?"

Harry could only nod curtly. He was way too confused to elaborate right now.


	13. Chapter 13 Happenings

**A.N.** I was recently all but called a drama-queen-style writer, so I feel obliged to warn you - this contains drama. *gasp!* Thank you for you attention. You may now go on with reading on leave indignantly.

Chapter 13 – Happenings

Draco was reluctant to have more séances – at all, much less with Harry. He had haughtily said he had to preserve what tiny bits of dignity he still had left. Not Robert, not Harry, not any of the hospital staff could lure the blond into talking, much less sharing personal information.

Harry somehow found himself talking to a closed door – he was sitting on the floor, his back resting against the hard wood of the door.

"Look… I'm not trying to force you. In a way I think I understand you. But… I mean, what happened to the man who agreed to go through a hypnosis in hopes of remembering all of his memories?"

Silence.

Harry sighed.

"There are so many things that are worth remembering; I promise you. I want to tell you… so many, so important things… but… Robert said it could damage your mind more. That is the only thing that stops me from telling you all…"

"…Funny. You'd have done it once, _because_ it would mess my mind more."

Harry, jumping in surprise from the sudden response, snorted.

"We were kids. And that was you."

He couldn't see the blond smiling on the other side of the door, his back against the wood, like Harry's; if the door hadn't been there they would be back to back.

"I never really wanted to cause you harm. It was usually self-preservation", Harry suddenly said.

"You mean to tell me that I was the one to always start our fights?"

"Weren't you?"

"…"

"Why?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why were you always… against me?"

"…Some part of it was my father demanding it from me, I guess. … Some part was my own bitterness."

"Bitterness?"

"…You always rejected me, Potter."

"I…", Harry started, then stopped. He realized it was true. And felt like the world greatest jerk for that.

"Draco…", he thought he heard a small gasp, but continued anyway, "There really is no point wondering what would have happened had I taken your hand on that first day, on the train. But I am here now. I am the one reaching out a hand for you to take it, now. It's up to you to decide, whether you'd make my mistake and wonder what could have happened… or take it and see for yourself."

Silence again.

"Let me in, Draco."

Some more silence… more tensed moments…

The door cracked open.

Feeling a bit childish, but knowing how unstable the whole situation was, Harry crawled in the room on all fours, reached the bed and turned to see the blond slumped by the door, his back now against the wall. Harry smiled softly, arranging his body in a way that his own back was resting against the bed as he faced Draco.

"Hi", he said simply, glad to see a small smile gracing Draco's lips.

"Hello", the blond said quietly, not really meeting his eyes. Harry's jaw clenched.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, Draco."

"… Do…", the blonde closed his eyes and looked to the left, blushing.

"Yes?", Harry encouraged.

"…Do you think he's… Do you think Swanson was right?"

Harry didn't have to ask about what. He had been wondering about that ever since their last séance together had ended.

"_Draco, do you love Harry Potter?"_

And did Harry Potter love Draco Malfoy?

"I honestly don't know", Harry admitted. "What… what do you think?"

"This is all so fucked up!", Draco almost sobbed, one hand grabbing roughly the hair that had fell in front of his eyes and shakily pushing it back; his face betrayed how scared and confused he was. "I can't remember half of my memories and those I can are being interpreted in a way I'd never really consciously thought possible!"

"Consciously?", Harry asked gently, his curiosity piqued.

Draco actually jumped a little, unconsciously trying to move back even as his back was against the wall; he blushed harder and muttered, barely above a whisper "Dreams don't count…"

"Dreams? A-about me?", Harry's breath hitched a bit.

"Don't get so full of yourself!", Draco clearly wanted to crawl under the bed and hide there. "One cannot really control his dreams!"

Yes, Harry knew that well. If only he could control his nightmares…

"I-I never wanted… t-to dream…ugh!", Draco hid his face in his palms, his knees already bent and his upper legs flush to his chest. He looked so small and vulnerable.

Not really realizing what he was doing, Harry crawled next to Draco and removed his hands, hiding the surprisingly expressive eyes. Stormy gray met forest green and Harry's heart skipped another beat. He bent lower, his eyes not breaking the contact with Draco's, hypnotized by this impossible, unnatural color… his breath was elaborated and he was glad to notice Draco's was too…. Lower… His lips touched the velvety softness of Draco's lips… and the silver eyes fluttered closed…

And with that Harry snapped out of his hypnosis and gasped, jumping back; eyes wide with the shock of what he had just done. The gray eyes opened too, confused, asking, pleading, judging…

"Shit!", Harry cursed and ran out of the room.

* * *

><p>It took the Hero of the Wizarding world two days to finally get back and check on the mess he had left as he had ran from Draco's hospital room.<p>

Robert was just stepping out of said room, a grave expression on his face, an expression that made Harry's guts clench unpleasantly.

"What?", Harry asked quietly, his heart beat quickening.

Robert looked up surprised.

"Harry… "

"What happened?", Harry asked again, walking towards the closed door.

"Harry, don't…!"

He pushed the door open… and almost cried out at what he saw.

Draco Malfoy sat stiffly in a chair near the window, staring outside. He looked like he hadn't moved at all, even to get more comfortable, since the nurse had placed him there. Two days after Harry had seen those stormy grey eyes showing so many emotions… they looked empty once again.

And Harry couldn't take it. Not now….!

"No! No, please, not again!", he ran into the room and shook the blond roughly. "Please, don't do it again, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…! … Draco… please come back…"


	14. Chapter 14 A chance

**A.N.** Ugh, sorry for the long wait, guys! That's what a vacation, some lack of muse and work do for a writer. Still, hope you don't hate me enough to punish me by not reviewing? Hm? Please DO review?

Chapter 14 – A chance

Robert Swanson sat in his chair, behind his desk, as he examined Harry Potter's pale face, wondering where to begin with his explanation, while the Savior of the Wizarding world sat in the chair in front of him, looking pretty shaken.

"Harry… He's just… very, extremely emotionally unstable right now. Or maybe I should say that he's just very emotional, but he has never shown his emotions so far - he hasn't been allowed to, and therefore doesn't know how to deal with them. It has all just piled up. And now every suppressed emotion is an overwhelming wave that can crush him."

Harry seemed to sink in his chair.

"Harry…?"

He shook his head.

"Harry… what pushed him this time?"

"… I… I kissed him…?"

Robert suppressed a smirk.

"…Oh? Does that mean you have realized and accepted your feelings for each other?"

Suddenly a very frustrated Harry Potter was pacing in Robert's office, raking his shaky fingers through already messy hair.

"It all happened so fast! I mean… that first time when you left us alone and he somehow made me confess that I was gay and if we were to ignore our past, he was my type and I'd invite him to a date…"

"Wow, you said all that?", Robert asked, amused.

"Well… no. I-I didn't divulge into… things like him being my type… we were mostly messing around, Robert, I said I'd go out with him as a way for him to understand that I swung that way a-and then I realized I'd really would go out with _him_, as he was then, I-I mean… just _Draco_ and not… not that snarky _Malfoy_ I used to know… A-and he was so surprised and it looked like he thought so lowly of himself that I… Fuck!"

"What, Harry?"

"I mean, then you just… you just had to hypnotize him then and ask that question and when he snapped out of the hypnosis he refused to talk to us and see us and-and then I was trying to get him to talk to you and me again and get séances and get better and the door opened and he let me in and he asked me that thing again and his eyes looked like a storm over the ocean and I kissed him and-and….!"

"Whoa, whoa, Harry, stop, stop it! Hold on a minute! What are you trying to say?"

"I just… I…"

"Yes?"

"I cannot be! I mean-he is DRACO MALFOY! We have argued, fought, tried to KILL each other more than once! We hate each other since we were 11! How.. I cannot… I cannot be… can I? Am I really? Robert?"

"Are you… what?"

"In love?"

Robert allowed himself a fatherly smile. "Should I be the one telling you that? Don't you know the answer for yourself?"

"Come on, Robert, you know me better than I know myself! Just… please… tell me…"

A small Slytherin smile graced Robert's face, before his eyes softened and he smiled gently.

"Yes, Harry. You are. And it's not something that _just_ happened, now, suddenly - it has been happening for years and Draco's current predicament only … unlocked … things that have piled up, just like Draco's emotions have."

"Oh… Oh, fuck. I am so screwed…."

"… And I believe he is too. In love, that is. With you."

"…. …. Really?", a small voice.

Robert grinned. "I believe so, yes. But why don't you ask him yourself?"

"Because he WOULDN'T TALK TO ME!", Harry yelled in frustration. Robert chuckled calmly.

"If I were you I'd start with telling him exactly how I felt. Then wait to see what happens. You've got nothing to lose, Harry."

"Oh, sure, just small insignificant things like my pride and my heart."

Robert laughed sympathetically. "Yes, only those."

Harry growled.

* * *

><p>Harry placed a few of Draco's favorite sort of pears in front of the blonde, so that he could see them.<p>

"Comice", Harry said, immediately feeling stupid. But once he'd started he felt obliged to explain himself. "I asked and they told me. It's considered to have the best favor of any pear. The shop keeper noticed I bought only those. He asked me and I said they were for a friend", Harry smiled, remembering the conversation. "He said my friend had an excellent taste."

Harry waited; he longed for the snappy retort. _"Of course I have an excellent taste, Potter. I was born in an aristocratic family, after all."_

Nothing like that came from the Draco Malfoy shaped statue.

Harry sighed and slid to the floor, resting his back on the wall near Draco's feet.

"I don't know why I did that. I was confused and I'm sorry that I ran. Okay? But I don't regret it. I don't regret kissing you. It felt too good to be wrong, so I won't apologize either."

He couldn't meet the empty grey eyes just now, but he had the feeling Draco was listening.

"I talked with Robert", Harry chuckled bitterly, a half-laugh. "We're both so messed up, Draco. I also, still, need someone to tell me what I feel and if it's real. And Robert knows me the best so I asked him and he said that yes… yes,… I'm in love. With you. I don't know when it happened – Robert thinks it had started happening long before I saw you again, here at the hospital, for the first time in years. Maybe it's not that strong yet. It's too new to be strong. But it's worth giving a chance, don't you think? "

Maybe he was imagining it, but Draco's breath sounded more ragged now.

"Look, I… I need you to come back, okay? I want to try, with you. I know it sounds crazy", Harry allowed himself a snort. "Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. The Boys, Who Almost Killed Each Other. But it's been so long ago and now I don't see the same boy I saw then. I see someone new. Someone different, changed. And I want to get to know him. But you've got to let me, Draco", he finally looked up. "Let me."

What he was met with weren't empty eyes. Quite the opposite, they were overflowing.

"All I ever wanted from you was a chance", Draco whispered, choking on the words. "Don't ever reject me again. Don't ever run away from me again!"

"I won't, I won't, I promise you…", Harry realized he'd pulled Draco down in his embrace only after he started rocking the blonde to calm down the muffled sobs; Harry's own tears were about to fall down his cheeks and into blond shiny hair. "I'll stay. We'll give this not a name, but a chance. We'll try."

"We'll try…", Draco choked, huddled in his arms. "We'll try…"

And maybe this time it would work. It'd be real. For both of them.


	15. Chapter 15 Somewhere to belong

Chapter 15 – Somewhere and someone to belong

**A.N.** First I'd like to apologize for the long wait – it's just that quite a lot happened to me and I wasn't in the mood to write. To be sincere I'm still not sure if I am, but I try for you, so be gentle. Also, some of you will notice that some facts in this chapter repeat chapter one; but Harry wasn't present back then and he doesn't know them. So bear with me while I let him know, ok? Thanks and enjoy.

"Now I know you'll probably find this corny, but it is indeed something that we should go through, and especially in your case", Robert said; then he sighed and said somehow apologetically "Your childhood."

Draco sunk further into his chair. Then he realized what he was doing, straightened up and rose an aristocratic chin. "What is there to discuss?", he sounded haughty, but that barely covered his initial flinch and unwillingness to talk about the time he was a small boy. "I was raised according to the Malfoy family traditions. Servants and house elves took care of me. And before you've asked – no, I had almost no connection with my Mother, not until I became an adult and a bond that is started in adulthood has none of the basic importance of one that has been started in childhood. Anything else?"

"Yes, Draco. A lot "else". Please allow me to ask the questions I'd like to ask, one by one, and try to answer them as best as you can", Robert said calmly. Draco blushed a little, but didn't argue. Robert continued just as calmly. "In our previous conversations you've mentioned that you weren't allowed to build a proper mother-son bond with Mrs. Malfoy. I'd like to ask you who do you think prevented you from having a normal relationship with your Mother?"

Draco looked away. That was an easy question. "My Father did."

"Why do you think that was?"

"… He thought something like that would spoil me."

Harry clenched his jaw, but kept quiet, sitting in a chair next to Draco.

"Did you blame your mother for not trying harder to build a bond with you?"

"She did", Draco blinked, gulping dryly. "She did try."

"What happened?"

"She… tried to come read to me one night, before I fell asleep."

"What did she read to you?"

"Peter Pan", Draco smiled faintly.

"Oh?", Robert rose his eyebrows, obviously utterly surprised at Narcissa's choice of children's book. "Did you know it is a Muggle fairytale, Draco?"

The blonde nodded, frowning, as if remembering something painful.

"Did you like the book?", Robert asked.

"I did", Draco said, his voice clipped.

"But…?", Robert gently prodded.

"… I think he hit her; my father I mean. Mother never complained of course. She always maintained her posture too. But that was the first time she wore her hair that way – free and hiding half of her face." Draco lifted his pained face and met Robert's eyes. "My Father hit my Mother in the face because she wanted to read to me. Because of me."

Harry inhaled sharply. He was about to object, but Robert was faster.

"Draco. It wasn't your fault. A mother always wants the best for her child. Yours only wanted to be that best – the best mother for her son."

Draco looked away again. Harry's hand crept over his again and he squeezed, like he had once before. Again, the blonde accepted it. This time, he even squeezed back.

"Draco… I have to ask." Robert's voice sounded apologetic again. "Has your father hit you?"

"No…", the blonde whispered.

"Has he ever done something that caused you pain or caused a serious emotional trauma?"

"…Yes", Draco gasped, a tear falling down his cheek.

"Robert, let's stop...!", Harry realized his own anxiousness, the need to take the blonde in his embrace and soothe him again, like he had done two nights ago. He still didn't understand those impulses. Robert might claim Harry's love had formed and blossomed in the past years, but it was still new for Harry. It felt too strong for something as new, though, so Robert must be right, Harry admitted. Again.

Robert sighed, then he nodded and stood up.

"Harry, would you come out for a second?", he asked, stepping into the hallway. The brunette followed him.

Once the door was closed, leaving a trembling Draco inside, Robert sighed again.

"I know you think that we make almost no progress. I know his treatment seems to happen too slow. I know you're still confused about the thing between you two and you think it's still too soon to try and explore it. But I'm afraid you'd have to, Harry."

"…What?", Harry asked, his voice suddenly hoarse and hollow.

"He needs support. Mostly emotional, and I know how hard that is to provide when you yourself need some of that, but physical too."

Harry blushed. Robert rolled his eyes; something he _very_ rarely allowed himself to do.

"Not in that way, although I have no doubt it'll eventually come to that too; and frankly I fail to see what the big deal is and why you act so indignant, when you _are_ gay _and_ you've admitted he's your type ", he sighed again, ignoring Harry's choking and stuttering. "Anyway, for now he just needs closeness. Pretty much any kind of it. Little touches, hugs… whatever you can give, Harry. There was a reason he remembered only the memories that included you. You fought for him. You saved him. You mean a lot to him. It would be a lot easier for him to first confide in you and then start feeling more comfortable around me too." Robert allowed himself a small smile. "I don't think you'd suffer badly if I asked you to start spending more time with him. With this new Draco you met in this hospital, but, on some level, loved even before that. Give it some time and you'll adore this new version, now; I'm sure. Or maybe that time would be needed for you to realize that you already do love him. For real."

Harry looked dazed. Robert smiled more warmly and patted his shoulder with understanding.

"Spend more time with him. That's all I'm saying.", he winked and walked away, leaving a dumbfounded Harry Potter in front of Draco Malfoy's room.

* * *

><p>It took Harry a day to make up his mind and come back in St. Mungo again.<p>

Many amused smiles followed him as he walked towards Draco's room, picnic basket in hand and a determined look on his face. He stopped in front of the room, took a deep breath and raised a hand (which only trembled slightly); then he finally knocked.

The muffled half-whisper of "Come in" didn't sound very encouraging - Harry tried not to frown as he entered the room. That task was made a lot more easy when he saw Draco's reaction of his visit – as Harry walked in, the blonde turned – with a bored and depressed look his face – and his whole face lit up when he saw Harry. Draco smiled tentatively and the Auror's heart skipped a beat. He felt himself smiling as well when he nodded towards the window.

"Nice day, today. Want to take a walk?", he lifted the basked. "Picnic? I packed your favorite pears?"

Draco grinned. "It's not even their season. How do you find them?"

It was Harry's turn to grin. "Magic", he said mystically.

Draco laughed.

* * *

><p>Harry had already gone to Robert to ask for a permission to be entrusted with Draco's safety outside of "St. Mungo". He'd specifically asked for a permission for Apparition as well.<p>

As they walked out of the hospital the raven haired man extended his free hand to Draco and said, smiling slightly "Hold on tight."

Draco grabbed his hand in a death grip. Harry's smile widened.

"You don't like side-along apparition?"

Draco cleared his throat and looked away. "I… don't like feeling my control over a situation… slipping."

Harry's smile faded. As an Auror he knew that feeling well. He squeezed the blonde's hand tighter.

"I'll take care of you. I won't let you fall."

He thought he heard the blonde's breath hitch and his hand trembled, but Harry intentionally avoided to look at his nemesis-turned- friend.

Because in so many ways, they were still confused teenagers.

* * *

><p>"Where are we? It looks familiar somehow…", Draco mused.<p>

Harry smiled faintly – they were at the backyard of Grimmauld Place. "This is the house I inherited from my godfather, Sirius Black."

"…Black?", Draco asked slowly.

"Yes. As your mother's family name. This is the Black family house. You have probably been here as a child."

Harry had already asked Robert if he could tell Draco that bit of information, in case the blond asked or didn't remember on his own. Draco, after all, remembered only childhood, and not even all of it. If he'd ever been here, it would have probably been once or twice – not enough for it to leave a permanent impression in a child's memory.

"Come, I want to show you something", Harry said, leading the blonde inside the house.

They went through the dusty hallway, through stray rays of sunlight with dancing dust particles in them, stepping on the creaking carpet.

"I eer… don't exactly use the house. I live elsewhere", Harry explained.

"Mm. Maybe you'll also show me that place, where you actually live…one day…"

Harry glanced back, smiling at the slightly blushing blonde.

"I'd like that."

He suddenly stopped in front of a door, painted in a dark color, smiled with encouragement and opened the door, gently pushing Draco inside. The blonde stepped inside, looking around with wide eyes.

"What _is_ this?", he whispered.

"It's the Black family tree. It keeps adding new names through the years. And… see here…", Harry motioned towards a silver embroidery. "Narcissa Black"'s green leaf was linked with "Lucius Malfoy"'s, leading to a "Draco Malfoy".

"Why are you showing me this?", Draco asked with a quiet shaky voice.

"I'm doing this to tell you that… sometimes, for some people… the idea of a family is an old tapestry. See those burnt holes? Those are the ones, who decided that there are more important things… like real _people_ and _places_ to belong. Your own aunt Andromeda is one of them", Harry nodded towards her name. "She decided love was more important than names and family beliefs. I'm showing you this to tell you that you can choose where to belong. If you need an evidence, a proof of your bloodline – here it is. If you need someone to belong to…", Harry took a deep breath, opened his arms, looked directly at Draco and said, "here I am."

A tear slid down the seemingly frozen, perfectly sculptured pale face. There was a tiny sob. And then suddenly Harry found himself holding the shaky form of the Black and Malfoy families last heir. Or… the man, who had just chosen him, Harry James Potter, as the person to belong to.

**A.N.** Well... I hope that was ok? Did you like? Review ad tell me ;)


	16. Chapter 16 The Scorpion's attack

**A.N.** Here's chapter 16. It took some time... again. I know. It's... I'm kinda in a bit of a... Okay. It is depression and I know it sounds like something is always up with me, but I swear I'm not a drama queen. I think. Hope. ... Just... telling you I try. Really. I really try to work on this story, so... stay with me, please?

Chapter 16 – The Scorpion's attack

Harry stayed with Draco that night, in his room in the hospital. The room itself wasn't that hostile and empty anymore, with the piano, a few books and plates with Draco's favorite pears. It looked like someone really lived there.

When they first crawled in the bed together it was even more awkward than his first time doing that with Ginny, Harry recalled. They laid stiffly, looking at the ceiling, a respectable distance between them.

"Robert said you needed more body contact", Harry said out of the blue.

"What?", Draco rasped. Harry cleared his throat.

"Hugs, he said. Nothing sexual, you see. Of course."

_"Yet",_ Robert's voice chuckled in his mind and Harry blushed.

"In… in order for you to feel… emotionally… balanced?"

"So, it's not like you want to hug me. Just, doctor's recommendations", Draco said. Harry thought he could hear the smile in his voice.

"Yes. Exactly. Doctor's recommendations."

"Well, if duty demands it… would you hug me, Auror Potter?", Draco asked teasingly.

Harry sighed and gathered the blonde in his arms, laying Draco's head on his chest.

"Sleep now", Harry ordered, forcing his blush away.

Draco snorted quietly, but said nothing witty in return. A few minutes later his even breathing told Harry he'd really fallen asleep, making the Auror follow him…

* * *

><p>"Noooooo! No, don't, please!"<p>

Harry jumped up in bed, his wand already in his hand, ready to strike. He needed only a second to realize the reason for Draco's screams and lower his arm. His chest tightened as Draco screamed again,

"No, please, he's not….! Take me! Take me! Let him go!"

"Draco… come on, wake up…", Harry muttered, gentry rubbing Draco's arm.

The blond jumped up, sitting in the bed, panting. Harry tried to rub his back soothingly, but Draco jumped again, turning back surprised.

"Harry?"

The Auror tried to smile reassuringly. "Yeah. It was a nightmare, Draco. No one is going to hurt him…"

"Whom?"

Harry frowned. "Who did you dream about?"

Draco's frustrated face scrunched even more and he lifted a fist, hitting his brow repeatedly, hard.

"I can't remember! Once I awake and sometimes even in the dreams...I cannot see… Merlin, why can't I!? I have to, I just have to…"

Harry grabbed his fist, sneaking up closer to the frustrated blonde, until he had him in his arms.

"Shh… it's okay, Draco… you'll remember, you'll see. That's why we're here."

"Why can't I see their face, Harry… It's important to me, so important that I can't breathe when I can't remember…", Draco mumbled in his chest, shaking all over.

Harry closed his eyes. He wanted to tell him, everything. He wanted to scream, "That's your son Scorpius you're trying to protect in the dreams!"… But he knew he couldn't. He shouldn't. He could just rub Draco's back soothingly, embracing him tightly, absently kissing the top of his head.

"It's okay, Draco… you'll remember…"

"It's important…. They're important…", Draco kept whispering brokenly.

* * *

><p>"He dreamt about them again last night, Robert. I wanted to tell him. I was so close to just… blurting it all out… I felt so fucking…"<p>

"Helpless?", Robert hinted. Harry nodded, looking away. Robert sighed.

"I know, Harry. I know. But you did a great job, taking him out, showing him the tapestry at the Black family home… saying those exact words to him. Can't you see how much more opened around you he is? Can't you?"

Harry wasn't so sure. Sure Draco had permitted sleeping in one bed and even hugging when Harry had told him it was what doctors suggested…

"Really now, Harry? Do you think that weak explanation would make him let you touch him, if he didn't want you to?"

Harry frowned. "I told you to stop doing that."

Robert was extremely good at Legilimency. Something Harry was unfortunately well aware of.

Roberts sighed again. "When he woke up from his nightmare who did he seek for comfort?"

"Well, he _let me_ hug him, he didn't jump in my arms!"

"But there was no shattered porcelain this time as well", Robert pointed out smugly.

Well… that was true, Harry admitted to himself.

"I'm won't lie to you, Harry, there's still a long way to go. But things are definitely looking brighter now that he has you in his life."

Harry could only smile hopefully.

* * *

><p>"I suggest art therapy. I think it will be good for you, Draco, to try and draw your feelings on canvas…"<p>

"No."

Robert blinked, a bit taken aback by the definite refusal.

"Oh? Why not? Have you tried it, drawing?"

Draco shook his head, looking away.

"My… my mother was a very good artist. Father didn't… ", sigh, "he just didn't let her draw and… sometimes, when he was away working, she would … all but hide, in the farthest room in the Manor and… draw", the blonde smiled a sad smile. "I always knew when she was drawing… She would come for lunch and… she would be smiling…"

"… Then… Wouldn't you try too, Draco…?"

"I… I can't", he shook his head. Robert smiled gently.

"Just try? No one's here to stop you or say you suck, though I highly doubt you would", the older man chuckled, then got serious again. "No one is going to watch you if you don't want to be watched while drawing. No one is going to interrupt. Trust me when I say this might help you a lot… to express what you cannot say, what pains you if you talk about, maybe even your dreams… maybe this will help you see and remember the ones from you dream, whose faces you cannot see for now; your important people … Just try, this is all I'm asking of you. Okay?"

There was a pause, then the blonde nodded slowly. "…Okay."

* * *

><p>It was one of those really crazy days for Harry Potter – it was a Saturday but he'd been called from work, and on the day that he'd planned to spend with Albus! He couldn't say no though, not to that particular case, and he couldn't, wouldn't, ever, tell Ginny that he couldn't spend time with his son.<p>

And, of course, there was one dependable blonde waiting for him to visit.

"I'm so sorry, Albus. I'm sorry you had to be dragged along with me, to work and now here as well… I'll compensate you for that, Al, I promise. Tomorrow it'd be just us. We can go to an amusement park…"

"Dad. It's okay", Albus smiled that eerily wise (for a 10 ½ year old) smile.

"Oh. Okay. Um… can you wait here for a bit? I just… I don't know how he's gonna react and…"

"Okay. Go", Albus said calmly as he sat in the waiting room. Harry blinked.

"Seriously, Al… I don't know how your mother and I managed to create _you_."

"Eeer, yeah, Dad, I try not to think of that too", Al scrunched his nose and Harry laughed, waving and saying a quick "I'll be back."

He stepped into Draco's room and noticed a few things at the same time: the strong smell of oil colors and thinner; the picture on the tripod – a silhouette of a blond boy without a face, surrounded by darkness; Draco, sitting on the windowsill, with reddened eyes gazing through the window.

"It's not working", Draco choked out. "I cannot see his face…"

Harry opened his mouth, searching for soothing words, walking closer to Draco, thinking if a hug would be welcomed just now. But then he stopped, frowning, listening to the noise from the hallway.

Heavy footsteps, as if the person stomped angrily were followed by another pair, running after the first. The first one was obviously shouting.

"I do not care in the slightest for your pathetic excuses! I demand to see my Father NOW!"

With the last word the door burst open and a mini Draco Malfoy stood there, frozen with shock, eyes wide and glued on his father's puffy red ones.

"Father?", Scorpius asked quietly.

Draco's eyes widened. He stood from the windowsill and walked in trance towards the boy.

The boy who was confused and (even if he'd never admit it) scared.

"What's wrong with him?", Scorpius blurted before Harry could stop him. "What did you people do to him!?", he yelled, stepping back.

Draco's eyes watered again, his face scrunched in pain, still marred with traces of his surprise and confusion. Did he even recognize his son? Harry opened his mouth. And then…

"Scorpius…"

It was whispered so quietly Harry almost missed it. The boy froze and his own eyes filled with tears as his father's shaking arms lifted and trembling fingers traced Scorpius' face. Draco looked like he was suffocating.

"Oh, Lord…. Oh, God…!", he choked out.

"What-..? What's happening to him?!", the boy panicked.

"He just remembered you", Harry hissed out. Scorpius eyes widened even more and he was about to ask even more things, but then Draco collapsed on the floor, literally suffocating.

"Oh, Merlin, no, no, NO! Father...DAD!", Scorpius fell on the floor next to the shaking figure. Harry's panicked mind formed one word: Robert!

He ran towards the door, but someone was already there.

"SCORPIUS MALFOY, I TOLD YOU NOT TO-… Oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't stop him-…DRACO!", the woman screamed terrified, running next to her…

Her son. And her husband.

The woman was Ana Malfoy.

**A.N.** Heh, yeah, a little cliffie. Hopefully I'll write and post the next chapter soon. You may encourage me with some nice reviews.


	17. Chapter 17 Acknowledgement

**A.N.** Okay, okay... here's the denouement after the cliffie :P

Chapter 17 – Acknowledgement

Ana Malfoy watched helplessly as her once beloved rocked back and forth, kneeling on the floor. No amount of "Draco, it's me, Ana, don't you recognize me?" helped. She could bet Draco didn't see her at all.

Scorpius' ragged breathing suggested he tried to stifle yet another pained sob.

Harry Potter flew back in the room, followed by the man who was obviously Draco's psychiatrist. Potter fell on the floor next to Ana, grabbed Draco's face, making him look into his eyes and forced a pained smile as he said simply, "Draco."

The blond looked up. His eyes focused on the green pair; he was still shaking badly, but he whispered raggedly "Harry."

Oh. _Harry_.

Potter's smile became a bit more natural and he nodded.

The older man cleared his throat. "Harry, I think you should wait outside for a while…"

Draco's hand grabbed Potter's and his eyes became wild, scared.

"Only for a bit, Draco. Harry will be right back. Don't you want to have a chat with your guests instead?", Robert asked gently. Draco looked around himself for the first time. He looked a bit confused. "You remember Ana, right, Draco?"

The blonde nodded slowly as if not very certain if he did remember his wife. Or he just remembered her vaguely. Ana tried not to feel hurt. Not anymore.

"And Scorpius?", Robert added.

Draco nodded vigorously, but looked away, not daring to meet his son's eyes.

Potter bent down and whispered, "He's not ashamed of you, Draco. It hurts him that you're in pain, but he's not ashamed of having you as his father."

Draco nodded again, curtly; he still didn't look up at Scorpius, but didn't seem as ashamed and pained anymore.

At this moment Ana Malfoy understood why people respected Harry Potter.

With a last, almost unconscious caress of Draco's face, the Savior or the Wizarding World stood up.

"Stay", Ana heard herself saying. She'd said impulsively, but it seemed like the right decision. Draco's hopeful expression at just the suggestion of that proved it. Potter shot a look at the older man, who nodded slowly, surprised. He sat down, on the floor, next to Draco, whose face instantly relaxed some more. Potter's hand squeezed Draco's in a reassuring way, something that seemed like an already habitual thing. Draco relaxed yet some more.

"You love him", Ana said, again surprised by herself. They both looked up, since she hadn't specified who loved whom, blushed and looked back down. However, Draco chanced a look at her.

"How could you possibly know? Even we were…"

"Surprised by such revelation?", Ana smirked. "Yes, you would be. It took you half a year to understand that the deep feeling that dragged you towards Scorp's nursery was in fact love." Ana smiled at Draco's confused face and shook her head. "Draco, it pains me to say it, but you've never looked at me like you look at Harry Potter. Desperate. Needing him. You never looked at me like that."

"I… I mean didn't I love you? We have Scorpius and…"

"You liked me enough; I'm pretty sure now. But I wouldn't go as far as calling it love", she smiled sadly.

"I'm… sorry."

Another half-smile; half a shrug. "I got over it once we divorced."

Potter's tense form suddenly relaxed a little, visibly. Ana smirked again. Surely, he'd read the newspapers? He'd known Draco was divorced?

But, she guessed, it's different when you hear it directly from one of the parties involved.

"We were in France, Scorp and I. He stays with me for the summer, until Hogwarts' year starts. We just heard today… about… you."

Draco nodded.

Someone knocked on the door and Albus' head poked inside. "Daddy? Oh. Hi", he said quietly, shy before all the unknown people.

Scorpius, whose head had shot up with the knocking sound, suddenly seemed very lively. Harry would very much like to say that he smiled in a friendly manner instead of _leering_ at _his son_.

"Why, hello there…", Scorpius said with a low voice and a predatory glint in his eye. "Just where have they hid you…?", he muttered.

Harry cleared his throat loudly, while Ana just smiled knowingly and Draco looked even more confused. Al blushed.

"Um, daddy, uncle Ron asked where you were…", he said just as Harry noticed Ron's amused smile. He glared, mouthing "_Not a word_." Ron grinned.

* * *

><p>"I'm not gonna lie to you, mate – I still don't get how you got stuck between the Malfoys."<p>

Harry snorted.

They sat in the cafeteria while Robert had finally (after an hour with Harry around) insisted that the Malfoys spend some time on their own. Harry still felt a pang of guilt for feeling relieved to leave that room, just then. Albus was relieved too – it had been written all over his face. At the moment he was quietly piecing together a magical jigsaw puzzle in the children's corner of the café.

Ron had been, once again, surprisingly calm about the whole thing. Not for the first time Harry took note of how much his friend had matured.

Shaking his head, Harry sipped from his tea. "There's more. I think young Scorpius has his eyes on Al."

Ron choked on his tea. "Merlin!", he exclaimed, wide eyed, but smiling a bit.

Harry did not see anything amusing. "Yeah…"

"Harry."

He looked up. Ron was giving him one of these eerie wise looks.

"Don't play dumb with me. I know something's up with you and Malfoy. Man, you should hear yourself when you talk about him, see yourself when you look at him! …Don't be a hypocrite is all I'm sayin'."

"Hypocrite?", Harry frowned, confused.

"What, you're allowed to be head over heels for Daddy-Malfoy, but 'young Scorpius' isn't allowed to like Al?"

"Wha-Just…! First, when did you become so tolerant?! Second, you ok with your sister's ex liking/dating a man? A Draco Malfoy?! Third, I am NOT a hypocrite! Al's just a baby! He can't… He can't be looked at like a-a sexual object from a Scorpus-predator!"

"Oh… that's what bothered you. Well, that makes sense", Ron shrugged and nodded, agreeing.

"Wait-just… what about the other things?!"

Ron sighed. "Harry. Mate. It took me years of therapy to get where I am now, to be who I am. True, the old me would have beaten you half-dead for leaving my sister for a man, for Malfoy. Also, the old me wouldn't have been a Healer. I changed, man. I see things differently now. You tried with Ginny. It didn't work. Why should I be angry if you find happiness elsewhere?"

Harry shook his head, dumbfounded. "Sometimes it all seems so surreal. You, being calm and understanding, and wise! Draco and I… it all happens so fast!"

Ron snorted again, but smiled in a friendly manner. "You can be extremely clueless sometimes, Harry."

Harry growled. Sometimes this new Ron was a bit too much for him.

Someone cleared their throat delicately and Harry turned to see Ana Malfoy smiling hesitantly at him.

"May I talk to you for a moment, Auror Potter?", she asked.

Harry nodded, stood up and walked a few steps aside with her.

"I'm going back to France", she said directly. "Scorp is going to stay with my mother here, until his school year begins."

"But… wouldn't you stay to help Draco's recovery…?"

She smiled sadly. "Mr. Potter, it's very likely I'm part of the reason for Draco's condition."

Harry frowned, confused and wary. Ana looked to the side. "It has all build up inside him of course – his childhood, the way his father treated him, the Dark Lord living in his home, trying to find a job, to start a life after the war… His mother dying. My insisting of a divorce."

Harry's eyes widened a bit. She noticed and smiled again. "Oh, yes, it was me who suggested it. We could both see it wasn't working but he'd never have done it. It was me, who needed love. Only me; or so I thought back then. We divorced a bit after his Mother's death."

"…But… there's still a year between that and his breakdown…"

"Did you know when Draco's breakdown was precisely?"

"…"

"21st March. The day I got engaged to my fiancé in France. That's also the reason it took Scorp and I so long to hear the news about Draco's… condition – we were away."

"…Oh."

"Yes. Back then, the Prophet decided my engagement was a decent gossip material and printed it. Seeing it was like losing the last semblance of family he had, again, I guess. Healer Swanson suggested it and I think it sounds plausible. Hence, my staying here to help him does not seem very productive." She smiled again, then suddenly grabbed Harry's hand, squeezing hard and said seriously, "Take good care of him. No matter what most people think, he deserves to be taken care of. He deserves you. Make sure to deserve him as well."

Harry could only nod, dumbfounded yet again in this memorable day, as he watched Ana Malfoy leaving the hospital and their lives.

* * *

><p>It was Albus' idea to spend the night at uncle Ron and auntie Hermione's (he promised Harry, in hushed tones, not to tell Mommy about that), so Harry went back to Draco's room that evening after he saw Al leaving with Ron.<p>

Draco stood next to the window; his back was turned to Harry, but the brunette could clearly see the blonde's body trembling. Harry did the only thing that he knew helped in moments like these – he went closer and let his arms embrace Draco from behind, pulling the slim body towards his Auror-hardened one.

"It's okay", he said. "We're alone now. Let go."

It was like he'd spoken a spell. Draco's façade crumbled and he only managed to turn around in Harry's arms, facing him, before he broke down, heart-breaking and strained sobs tearing his body apart. Draco's sobs, even a sign of weakness as they were, weren't girly at all. Even as he cried, he sounded like a man, which made it all the more harder. Men's tears, Harry knew, were the hardest to watch.

Harry made a few careful steps back until they reached the bed, not letting go of Draco. He managed to get them both into the bed, still holding the blonde's shaking body.

"It's okay", he repeated quietly, over and over again. "It's okay… Let go. I'm here. I've got you…"

**A.N.** Aaand that was your Xmas gift from me, guys. Idk if I'd able to write these days, much less post new chapters. Be nice and review! Happy Holidays to you all! ^^


	18. Chapter 18 Moving

**A.N.** Ok, guys, I am trying to make a development, but if you really like this story do help with some nice reviews :)

Chapter 18 – Moving

It had been five uncomfortable minutes since Scorpius had entered the room, sat on a chair in front of his father and stared. Silver met silver in a staring contest and still no one had said a word.

Finally, Draco coughed a bit and broke the silence.

"So, uhm… how… how have you been?"

Scorpius snorted and looked away, now staring through the window.

"I've been fine, Father. And you?"

"Well, I am still in the Psycho ward…"

Scorpius finally cracked a small real smile and looked back at him. Draco smiled tentatively.

"Look, I know what you see and hear. The same old tight-lipped, Malfoy style conversation. I guess it's just been… engraved, so deep inside me, that it comes out automatically now. Cold and meaningless. Was that how I talked to you? … Treated you?"

Scorpius looked stricken for a minute then looked away.

"Kind of", Scorpius sighed. "Look, I don't blame you. I know that's just…That's how you were taught to be."

"But I don't want to be."

Scorpius looked up. Draco forced a lopsided smile.

"I guess that's one of the things that made me snap. This… cold Malfoy façade my father worked so hard to instill into me was one of the things that drove your mother away from me; you are old enough now that I can tell you this. But when she… when she took you away as well… when I realized that cold demeanor had drove _you_ away as well…I realized I had become just like my father. And that's the one thing – _the one thing!_ - I cannot accept!", Draco took in a shaky breath and continued his hard-managed confession, still looking away from his son; it took all that he was just to say this, he just couldn't look at Scorpius' so familiar silver eyes. "I was never close to my father; not that I didn't want to, he just didn't let me. He didn't want me close to him. I don't want this thing to happen with us, Scorp. I want us… I want us to have the things my father and I never had. I want to know what your favorite color is. I want to know what's your favorite food, what you wouldn't eat, that you like to read, what's your favorite subject at school… I want to know if you fancy someone and I want you to want to tell me!"

Draco felt the tears prickling his eyes, so he stood up and walked away, his back turned to his son, a nervous hand threading through his blond hair. Great; that was also something he didn't want his son to see – his helplessness. He wanted to be the strong parent. The authoritative one, along with being the caring one, the one giving a damn….

"Red."

Draco brushed off his unshed tears and half-turned his head, rasping a "What?"

"My favorite color is deep red", Scorpius snorted. "I know – very uncommon for a Slytherin. Even my friends don't know…"

Draco turned around slowly and stared at his son's earnest and a bit nervous expression.

"I like French cuisine and cheese in particular, any kind. Especially that smoked yellow kind with herbs in it. I hate sea food and pork. I'm good at Transfiguration and Herbology, and I'm pants at Potions", he grinned a bit and Draco grinned back, knowing what Scorp was hinting; Draco was excellent in Potions."I also… like Astronomy. Because of our names", he shrugged shyly. "Prof. Sinistra says I'm pretty good." Draco smiled again. Scorpius was blushing now, looking at his hands, clasped in his lap. "I fancy someone… but it's too early to tell you anything… and _his_ father will never ever allow it."

"_His_… father?", Draco asked shakily.

Scorpius blushed a deeper shade of red, but forced himself to look at his father determinedly.

"Yes."

"Oh… Well. Okay."

"Okay?", Scorp whispered, unbelievingly.

"Okay. As long as you choose some way to produce a child, when the time comes. There's surrogating…"

Scorpius made a face. "There's also adoption. But, no, you want the Malfoy bloodline proceeded."

"I want a grandchild. Preferably one of my blood, yes – I'll admit some things are more deeply engraved in me."

Scorpius narrowed his eyes. "And if it's a girl?"

"Well, you'll try for a boy, obviously! And if it still doesn't happen by the… let's say, the fourth try, well, I'll accept that you have tried. Also, I think your mother should be the first to be honored to have a grandchild named after her, then I'd also be glad if you called the second one Narcissa…"

"You're okay with me having more than one child?", Scorpius interrupted.

"Okay?! I encourage it! If I had the chance…", Draco stopped himself.

"You do have the chance", Scorpius reminded softly; his father was still relatively young – he was only 31, having 'made' Scorpius while he was just 18.

Draco shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid not, son. Your mother and I are no longer together and she was the only woman I've ever seen myself with. And uhm… the person I now li-… lo-…", Draco choked and looked away again; he still couldn't say it.

"Mr. Potter cannot bear children, you meant", Scorpius grinned like the brat he was, a grin that became wider when he saw his father's shocked face.

"SCORPIUS MALFOY!"

Sensing danger, Scorpius leapt from his seat and ran for the door.

"Nice talk, Dad, see you tomorrow!"

He bumped into Mr. Potter by the door, laughed and dashed away.

Harry entered Draco's room with a confused frown on his face.

"What was that about?", he asked, motioning with his thumb towards the door.

Draco was smiling dazedly.

"You okay?", Harry asked, even more worried now.

"He used the "D"-word, Harry", Draco grinned so wide it must have hurt his cheeks. "He called me Dad!"

Harry only smiled with understanding and went to hug the blonde Dad.

* * *

><p>„Do… Do you have any really good memory… with me?"<p>

Scorpius smiled slightly, his expression hinting that he was somewhere far away now.

"You know, when I was a kid… It was strange", Scorpius' eyes met his father's again. "I mean, now you seem to think that you have always been… just cold. It wasn't like that. It was like… the part in you that had been taught by your father was warring with the part that wanted to be anything but like him. You'd never hold my hand while we were walking down the Diagon Alley but you'd make sure that after dinner there would be melon for desert – I was crazy about melon at that time!", Scorpius grinned. "You wouldn't read me a fairy-tale, but you secretly purchased my favorite books – you arranged for them to be delivered at home, so you wouldn't be seen buying children's books", the boy chuckled again.

"Now, about my favorite memory… I was a huge fan of Wimbourne Wasps. You arranged so the whole team came in the Manor for my 9th birthday and played a few games with me; I also took a whole photo session with them, plus autographs", Scorpius laughed. "You weren't … exactly present at the quidditch ground behind the Manor, but that day you arranged your meetings to take place at the Manor, in a room that overlooked exactly in that direction", Scorpius smiled gently. "I'm pretty sure you were watching the whole time."

Draco finally smiled as well.

Scorpius cast a Tempus charm and tsk-ed. "I have to go, Grandma will expect me for the tea. I'll come again tomorrow", he promised.

Draco nodded. "Maybe we could have a picnic one of those days… when the weather is good."

Scorpius' smile widened and he nodded. "I'd like that!"

"And… Maybe you could tell me who you fancy?", Draco tried, his smile turning hesitant. His son made a face. "Too early?"

Scorpius rolled his eyes. "Dad, why don't you first figure out your own love life and then advise me for mine?"

Draco opened his mouth to indignantly disagree (for what exactly he did not know), but his so waved and was out of the room before Draco even registered someone else entering.

"Let it be known that the day came when Draco Malfoy was left speechless and with his mouth hanging open", Harry chuckled.

Draco immediately closed said mouth, pouted, glared and finally hissed under his breath. "One may say that you should have taken advantage of that."

"What?", Harry frowned. Draco jumped from his chair and paced near the window.

"Nothing, Potter. And that's exactly the problem."

"What's got your knickers in a twist?"

Draco stopped pacing, turned around and snapped, "You kissed me once, right?!"

Harry flushed a little, but nodded, still confused.

"Was I bad?", Draco asked bluntly.

"Excuse me?", Harry's eyes widened.

"Did I suck, Potter!? Am I not worth a second try?! Swanson says you love me. You can at least admit that you care and are, even if just a bit, attracted to me…So why don't you kiss me anymore? Even my own son finds that strange!"

"_Scorpius_ does…?"

"Do not change the subject!"

Harry sighed. "Fine. I do find you attractive. I do have… certain… urges. And not just sexual ones, I just… mostly ones that are… deeper. Like, I'd see you distressed and I'd want to hug and comfort you. I want to support you, to be there for you…"

"But not inside me."

"Merlin, don't say that! It sounds… so vulgar."

"Oh, come on, Potter, It's not like you haven't banged any other gay men…!"

"I haven't."

"…What..? But you said…!"

"I said I was gay. I am attracted to men. I don't just jump in bed with the first one I lay my eyes on. I haven't… I _hadn't_ found the right one." He sighed. "And even so, _you_ haven't slept with guys for sure. This whole gay thing should be something entirely new for you. So don't make it sound like it's nothing."

"We were talking about kisses…", Draco whispered, still a bit shocked.

He didn't expect it when Harry smiled. "We were. Do you want me to kiss you?"

Draco blushed and looked down at his feet. It took him some time to nod hesitantly.

He saw Harry's shoes-clad feet getting closer until they stopped right in front of him. A finger lifted his chin gently and Harry's chipped lips met his in a gentle, chaste kiss.

"Now listen. I'm not quite as in love with you yet, as Robert says…" Draco tensed, but Harry quickly added "But I feel I could be. I'm almost there. But I need time to get there and _realize_ it; to start feeling those deeper emotions I know are love and not just having it being said to me, that that _should_ be how I feel. You haven't been with a man – not emotionally, not sexually, not in a real relationship. Aside of everything, there is still the fact that despite it all, the whole concept that _we_, of all people, could be in love is still kind of alien for even us. We both need time. We'll take it slowly, okay?"

Draco nodded. "I just… wanted to know that we have begun moving."

Harry smiled gently, his thumb gently caressing Draco's chin. He bent down and kissed him again, deeper this time.

"We have", he whispered over Draco's moist lips.


	19. Chapter 19 The lake

**A.N.** Well, here it is, chapter 19. You can, you know, encourage my moody muse with some nice reviews... Just sayin'...

Chapter 19 – The lake

They did have their picnic, all three of them, on the very next Saturday, in the backyard of Grimmauld Place. Draco began suspecting (or maybe just finally accepting) just who might be Scorpius' crush – his son had looked more than just mildly annoyed that Mr. Potter hadn't brought his son along.

Scorpius was rather successfully distracted, if only temporally, with some cheese sandwiches – Draco's idea, and some melon for dessert. He told them about his life in France, about his friends at Hogwarts, about his Grandmother (who thankfully never blamed Draco for his and her daughter's failed marriage) and about his dream-broom. Harry noted that Draco literally soaked up everything Scorpius said; he was ready to bet that Scorp would have that broom by Christmas.

While Draco's son was busy examining the Black family three tapestry, Harry busied himself by examining Draco himself. He trapped the blonde by the sink in the kitchen and captured his lips in a sudden kiss. Draco returned it for a few seconds but then hastily pulled back.

"Scorpius…", he murmured in Harry's lips.

"Busy", Harry just said, capturing his lips again. Draco moaned quietly, sliding his fingers in wild black hair…

Loud throat clearing made them both jump back, looking embarrassedly at the floor, Harry scratching the back of his neck.

"Scorpius", Draco rasped, madly blushing. "We were… we were just…"

"Uh-huh", the boy smirked in a far-too-familiar Malfoy way. "Why don't you take me back to Gran's house so you could continue with the 'just'?"

Both men's eyes widened.

"You… you're… okay… with that?", Draco tried.

Scorpius raised an eyebrow. He shot a calculating look at Harry, still smirking slyly. "I count on that", he said quietly, before he turned around, leaving the room.

"What was that last thing!?", Harry sounded alarmed.

Draco hid his very small, very Malfoy smile by turning his back to his new lover-to-be.

* * *

><p>Harry felt like in those old movies where the gentleman saw the… eer… other gentleman?... home?<p>

_Anyway. Something like that._

Draco stood by the door to his room at "St. Mungo", playing nervously with his cuffs.

"So…"

"So…"

The both grinned.

"Yeah… So, it's Sunday tomorrow and... I'm free. Do you want to take a walk with me?"

"Sure… yeah", Draco said quietly, smiling softly.

"Well then… I'll pick you up at 10?", Harry asked; Draco nodded. Harry bent down and stole another quick kiss. "See you tomorrow then."

Draco was still smiling a bit dazedly as Harry left.

* * *

><p>"Where are we?"<p>

"Emerald Forest. I've come here with the kids a few times."

Draco nodded. The forest's canopy of rich green made its name absolutely suitable. If he was a bit more frivolous, he'd say it was the color of Harry's eyes.

"Come, I want to show you something", Harry said, grabbing his hand and walking excitedly forward, on the small forest path. Draco was about to explain, very politely, that Malfoys were not made to be dragged around, when the brunette stopped suddenly, looking very proud of himself.

"Here, how's that?"

They were standing on a small wooden pier on the edge of a big lake. The water looked crystal-clear and Draco supposed there was a river, leading into the lake and out of it, somewhere. The scenery looked peaceful, with the calm water, the green grass surrounding it, the three branches hanging over the lake. Or… that was how it would look for anyone other than Draco. The blonde gulped and stepped back.

"Come on!", Harry grinned, gripping Draco's hand and making a step towards the edge of the small pier. The blonde's hand pulled him back.

"What do you think you are doing?", he asked, suddenly sounding cold.

"Swimming?", Harry grinned, choosing to ignore Draco's strange mood swing. He pulled his hand again.

"No", the blonde said, resolute, stepping back.

"Come ooon, it will be fun!"

"No."

"Come on, I'll jump too..!"

"I said no!"

"What now, Malfoy, you don't want to ruin your clothes?", Harry joked.

"That too. And I certainly don't want to…"

Draco's words were cut off as Harry jumped in the water, taking the blonde with himself.

_SPLASH!_

He didn't even realize his mistake for a second. As his head emerged on the surface, he was ready to laugh childishly, grinning madly… until he took notice of a terrified blonde, clutching at his body desperately, legs around Harry's waist and arms around his neck, shaking badly, breath coming out as if the blonde was suffocating – hard, desperate panting, in between which a desperate mantra could be heard "Don't let me go, don't let go!"

"…Draco…?"

"Oh, Merlin, don't let go!"

_Splash… splash…._

**_Splashing water!_**

_Fuck!_

"Hey… hey, it's ok, it's ok… I'm here, I'm holding you… I've got you, you're safe… I'm sorry…"

"Th-the pier… now…", the blonde gasped, still shaking as badly.

As Harry swam back to the small pier, Draco clutched onto him even more tightly, making Harry way too aware of the perfect body under the wet clothes. The Auror berated himself for thinking such a thing in such a moment, after he had caused the blonde's distress, and whispered gently "Hey… you'll have to let go now…"

The blonde began shaking his head violently "No, no, please…!"

Damn. If it was as bad as to cause Draco Malfoy to consciously beg… Harry closed his eyes for a second, cursing at himself. He then tentatively stroked Malfoy's back, gently, placed a hesitant kiss on the blonde's temple and said softly "Just so I could put you on the pier…"

Pause.

"…Look, I know I screwed up and have no right to beg for your trust now…"

The blonde's grip loosened a little bit. Harry took the hint.

"Okay… easy now. On three. One… two… three!"

He almost threw Draco on the pier in his haste to make it quicker, but the blonde looked grateful for that. He took some more deep, calming breaths as Harry kept watching him and apologizing from the water.

"I'm really sorry, I should have figured it out… _splashing water, damn it!_ , but I won't ever again do something you don't want me to…"

"My father threw me in the lake behind the Manor when I was five."

Harry stopped his rambling to listen to Draco's quiet voice. Something flashed in his mind.

_"Draco… I have to ask." Robert's voice sounded apologetic again. "Has your father hit you?"_

_"No…", the blonde whispered._

_"Has he ever done something that caused you pain or __**caused a serious emotional trauma?**__"_

_"…Yes", Draco gasped, a tear falling down his cheek._

The blonde wasn't looking at him, but at the water.

"He decided I must learn to swim. He hired a teacher of course. I refused to even step in the pool…", Draco snorted, smiling humorlessly. "Then one day he took me on a walk in the backyard. It had been a good day, no French and Latin lessons, no Proper etiquette lectures… I was even allowed some time to play. With toys! Damn, I was so happy…"

Even now, Harry could hear the longing in 5 years old Draco to have… just normal childhood. The blonde took a deep breath.

"We neared the lake… he was… watching at something in the water…"

Draco could still remember it all clearly, as if it had happened just yesterday.

_"Draco, come here."_

_He knew he had to oblige. His belly twisting strangely, he stepped closer to his father._

_"You know a Malfoy can never be surprised by anything. They must be perfect in everything, not giving their enemies any opening."_

_"Yes, father."_

_"Therefore, you __**will**__ learn to swim!"_

_With that Lucius Malfoy threw his 5 years old unsuspecting son into the cold waters of the lake._

_Draco remembered screaming… begging, while he was fighting to stay on the surface… He remembered the fear clenching his guts, the water entering his body, drowning him… He sank… under, deeper… _

_Finally, maybe just before he lost consciousness, he remembered seeing one of the servants, jumping into the lake, grabbing his small body… Draco remembered seeing the man as his own personal angel in that moment…_

_And he remembered his father's look of disgust as the man brought him out of the lake._

"I'm sorry."

Draco looked down at two sincere green eyes and tried to smile, even though he knew it would come out darkly.

"You didn't know."

"That's no excuse."

"…Let's just get out of here."

Harry nodded.

* * *

><p>Draco snuggled closer to the warm body next to his own; he clutched at it almost as desperately as he had in the lake. A strong arm lifted the blankets higher, wrapping them tighter around the blonde's shaking form.<p>

"I'm sorry", Harry whispered again in the blonde tresses.

"It's okay", Draco murmured.

"I'm sorry…"

Draco hugged him tighter. Harry was here, sincerely apologizing, holding him. Loving him, unlike his father. Draco saw those cold grey eyes again, as they had stared at him with disgust. He closed his eyes and sank further into Harry's embrace. No, Harry was definitely not like his father.

"It's okay", Draco murmured again in the hollow of Harry's neck, before the warmth lulled him to sleep.


	20. Chapter 20 Cold

**A.N.** Okay, I know it's been long, but I've been lacking muse for this story so updates are a bit slow, but I won't give it up ;) This chapter has just been finished so please excuse any mistakes you may find. It's March 8 here btw (international Women's day), so much love to all the ladies all around the world :)

Chapter 20 – Cold

It all started with a cold. A wizard's cold.

"Aacho!", Draco sneezed, taking another tissue from Harry and miserably wiping his nose. Robert shook his head.

"I can't discharge him like that, Harry. I mean, I can if Healer Weasley sees him and writes him a prescription for the cold, but I can't let him Apparate in his condition."

"Side-along?", Harry suggested.

Both Draco and Robert shook their heads again, Draco – looking greenish.

"That's a bad idea, Harry. It would only make him feel sick", Robert explained while Draco nodded vehemently. Harry didn't give up.

"Floo?"

"Same thing, I'm afraid", Robert said, looking as if he was apologizing. "And before you suggest a broom ride, let me tell you that it would only worsen his cold as well, what with being exposed to the wind and in such an awful weather…"

It was true that it had rained non-stop for the last three days. It had finally stopped today but it was still unnaturally cold outside, for this time of the year. Harry sighed.

"Well, the only thing that comes to my mind then is a car ride", he said.

Draco gulped and Harry suspected he'd suppressed a whimper. Like most wizards, and especially as a pure-blooded one, Draco didn't feel comfortable around any Muggle-based or even Muggle-related inventions. Such as big metal things that tended to get into death-causing accidents. Draco's expression clearly said, "If the cold doesn't finish me, that car ride certainly will!" Harry exhaled tiredly.

"Draco, I'm sorry, but you must. We can't walk back all the way to my place or Malfoy Manor."

There was a pregnant pause; then finally the blonde nodded miserably as if accepting his doom.

* * *

><p>Ron was as busy as always but managed to spare a few minutes for Draco's check up.<p>

"Tsk, that looks bad, Malfoy", Ron said examining Draco's sore throat; he shook his head again and began scribbling a prescription for the Apothecary on the first floor of the hospital. "Drink those potions I'll prescribe you, or it may worsen into laryngitis. Do not try to prepare those potions by yourself! You have a high temperature and it may make you dizzy, so no matter how good you are at Potions don't try anything."

Draco still looked like he expected Ron to treat him like an enemy, to lash out and refuse treating him as a patient. Harry had explained how much his best friend had changed, Draco had even met Ron and they'd had a very civilized talk, but Draco still looked wary around the redhead. Harry hoped that'll eventually change.

"Well… that's all I can do for you now. You must rest and drink lots of liquids, especially citrus juice", Ron concluded.

"I'll make sure that he stays in bed", Harry said; when Ron and Draco both turned to look at him pointedly he finally realized what he'd said and how it had sounded. "Resting!", he added quickly, glaring at Ron's smirking face.

Ron continued smirking, the redheaded bastard, all the way to the foyer where Harry and Draco waited for the taxi; Draco was still horrified by the idea, looking even more pale than usual, but he'd accepted that it was their only option right now. They had only waited for about 3 minutes when Harry decided that Ron's smug face was a bit too much for him right now and their cab must have arrived anyway. He took Draco's hand, ignoring Ron and Draco's splutters, and strode towards the front doors. And then he froze, cursing quietly, before he quickly stepped back.

"What?", Ron and Draco asked in unison.

"Someone has alerted the press!", Harry hissed.

And, indeed, a horde of reporters, armed with cameras and quick-quotes quills, waited for them in front of the hospital, looking impatient. Harry groaned, pacing in front of his best mate and… Draco.

"Who told them?! Who the hell told them the exact day and time we'd leave?!", he glared at Ron. The redhead spread his arms in denial, shaking his head.

"Don't look at me, mate, you know I'd never do that! If not for our friendship, I simply don't have the time to go calling the media!"

Harry sighed, ruffling his messy hair. "I know, I know…Well, nothing else we can do…"

He pulled out his wand, pointing it at Draco. The blonde stepped back and Ron lifted a stopping hand.

"Woah, woah! What do you think you're doing?", Ron asked.

"Casting a disillusionment charm", Harry answered simply.

The redhead shook his head. "You can't do that, Harry, not when he's that sick. Didn't Swanson tell you? Any magic cast around Draco right now will become unstable and may have unpredictable results."

"Damn wizard's cold!", Harry swore, turning back to pacing nervously before his face suddenly lit up.

Later, as he looked back, Draco thought he should have been alarmed by Harry's thoughtful, calculating gaze back then. And the slow smile that spread on his face in the next moment.

"I have an idea…"

* * *

><p>"Do explain… what exactly are we waiting for?", Draco asked, annoyed, as they stood in the shadows by the doors, waiting for something to happen.<p>

"Our perfect distraction….Oh, you'll see…", Harry smirked… looking at the _sky_.

Draco sniffled, fidgeting restlessly. What was Potter up to again?

And then suddenly he knew and wished he hadn't.

Potter's idea of 'distraction' dove from the sky in all its rage and glory… in the form of a dragon. A fucking dragon! A Welsh Red Dragon, who drifted above the terrified reporters before it landed majestically right in front of the hospital, separating the reporters and the hospital's doors. And then _Neville-fucking-Longbottom_ jumped from its back, obviously having flown on the beast's back, riding it. He looked back at them, as if he had known exactly where they were hiding and winked, smiling a small bastard half-smile.

_Neville-I-was-a-stuttering-midget-then-grew-some-balls-and-killed-the-Dark-Lord's-pet-snake-and-now-I'm-a-dragon-rider-Longbottom!_

Harry tugged Draco's arm. "Come on!", he hissed, dragging the shocked blonde right behind the dragon's, and its smug rider's, back, right under the noses of the reporters, right into the waiting taxi.

* * *

><p>"A dragon! A fucking dragon! A-Neville-Longbottom-on-a-dragon!"<p>

"Yes, dear."

"Do not 'dear' me! You traumatize me for the rest of my life with dragons, calling them a 'distraction' of all things…"

"It was _a_ dragon, one, single…"

"…then stuff me into a moving-metal-killing machine…"

"It's called a car…"

"Do not tell me how it's called! I've never dreamt the day will come when a Malfoy would allow to be _dragged_ anywhere, in shocked stupor mind you!" – choking coughs – "You brute of a Savior!"

Harry sighed, holding back a small smile and a shaking of his head. How could he think, and keep thinking, that a _whiny_, sniffling and coughing and snuggling under three blankets, in his own bed, Draco Malfoy was _adorable_, was beyond him.

"Here, drink your potions…"

"I do not wish to drink any potions, given to me by someone who almost killed me, using shock and dragons and killing-cars…!"

"Do you wish to stay sick then?"

A low muttered, barely heard sulky "No."

Harry handed the vial again and the blonde begrudgingly took it, swallowing the contents. Harry sighed again and headed for the door.

"Harry?"; it was said in a small voice. Harry bit the inside of his cheek to keep the smile from escaping, then turned back to face the patient.

"Yes, Draco?"

"Could you possibly bring me some chicken soup?", the blonde asked sweetly.

Harry gave a curt nod and ran for the door. One, because he had to go bring the soup and two, because he might have pounced on the patient if he'd stayed for another second in that room.

**A.N.** If you liked the chapter, smiled at least once or gaped in shock - review and tell me! ^^


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